From Good To Gone
by IvoryThinker
Summary: This is an account of the nine years Kiritsugu spent with Irisviel and Illya at the Einzbern stronghold in Germany. It covers several events in the family's daily life beginning with Kiritsugu's being hired by Jubstacheit von Einzbern, the head of the Einzbern Family, and ending with an epitaph somewhere in Fuyuki City.
1. Prologue:Technicality

**Prologue: Technicality**

"This offer of employment sounds too good to be true, Lord Einzbern."

"Please, call me Acht."

"Acht, then. I've heard about the Grail War and from what I've gathered it sounds brutal and complicated."

"I imagine you don't have a problem with brutal. And complicated seems to be your area of expertise. Your... resume suggests this to be so, unless of course, I am gravely mistaken."

"You're not. I don't care for scruples and honor in my work. To me, killing is killing and war is war. But I run into problems once my employers realize how I accomplish their ends. I didn't acquire my reputation because the Mage Association and the Church approve of my methods. I need to know you wouldn't have the same problems."

"I sense a kindred spirit in you, Emiya Kiritsugu. Like you, I'm after the end, not the means. Do you imagine I didn't have my people look into you before I decided to hire you? It's precisely because of what you do that I bothered to make the contact at all."

"So, you don't plan on interfering with my strategy?"

"None whatsoever. My part ends where yours begin."

"Very well. The terms of the contract, my lord?"

"Like I said, I will not interfere with your plans, but I do demand to be informed of them. The family's resources are at your full disposal. Use them as you will. The summoning relic... is on its way. I have begun the excavations in Cornwall for the scabbard of King Arthur's sword, the Excalibur. It might take several years, but I believe we have finally found the real one. If we're successful, you will be able to summon the most powerful Saber-class servant imaginable. That should be of great help.

In return, you will fight the battle in the name of the Einzbern family. You will be our employee for a span of ten years no less. Your activities will be confined to planning, strategizing and training for the Grail War and protecting the Grail Vessel. You will live here in Castle Einzbern in a separate wing where no one will disturb you and will not take any other contract or complete any other job except those which I ask you.

Once you have obtained the Grail, you are allowed one wish. That wish is entirely your discretion, a little gift for services rendered. But you must bring the Grail back here to Castle Einzbern at once.

In addition to this, you will be properly compensated at any price you name... Until you deem it unnecessary."

"Compensation is always necessary."

"I agree... But I hardly think it is proper for a son to ask his father for a salary. Although, I understand this has been done before."

"I do not follow."

"You mentioned earlier that the contract sounds too good to be true. It was. I haven't mentioned that this contract entails your marriage into the family."

"Marriage? That's a little too dramatic, don't you think?"

"Think of it what you will, Master Emiya. But to us, only an Einzbern can bring the family honor. Unless you marry into the family, we cannot consider your achievement ours."

"Uh..."

"Come now, you don't actually think so high of marriage that you will forgo this chance at saving the world, do you? Why, that would be practically amusing."

"But, you have no children."

"Children are easy to come by for Einzberns. We have been coining our own for ages. As a matter of fact, I do have one of these 'children' as you might call it. The Grail Vessel... She is an Einzbern creation, a child of mine. I even gave her a name."

"The Vessel is human?"

"No, not human. A homunculus. A pure-blooded Einzbern. I gave her our ancestor - Justeaze von Einzbern's body and an instinct to protect herself. She is the first of her kind... The first conscious and autonomous Grail Vessel. A great masterpiece. And it is she to whom you will be wed."

"You are asking me to chain myself to a machine?"

"Consider it a temporary incarceration. Since she is the Grail Vessel, she only has nine years to live."

"Nine years to live.. Acht, you must forgive me. I made a mistake. It's not a machine you're asking me to wed, after all. It's a woman designed to die after your purpose has been fulfilled... A mere tool! How is that any improvement?"

"Calm yourself, Master Emiya. I didn't ask you to treat her like a human being much less a wife. Do what you will with her just as long as it does not endanger the Grail. I'm not expecting you to be a real couple. This is all just... technicality."

* * *

Lord Einzbern - Lord Father Acht or Old Man Acht as he was more commonly known - led Kiritsugu down a series of confusing hallways into the very heart of the Einzbern workshop. Any mage with even the minutest interest in the Art of Alchemy would have been beyond himself with joy just to walk these hallowed, ostentatious halls, but Kiritsugu was not of their number.

He knew of the skill of the Einzbern mages. It was no great secret that they have mastered Alchemy to the point of being able to create their own family members. But, their magic was as useless in combat as a toothpick was in moving a boulder . Therefore, he could only admire it, but not value it.

Old Man Acht walked on, saying nothing and showing nothing that would indicate his age. In him was a disturbing kind of cold tenacity absent in any of the other Einzbern elders. He wondered if all Einzberns were this way... if Acht would have created a homunculus with the same kind of determination, intelligence and impartiality. That would be of great use to him in the Grail War. It would not matter if it could think on its own.

Would it?

And yet... and yet, and yet, and yet...

It was disturbing that the Einzbern Family Head would be so willing to sacrifice one of his own creations - the best one so far - for the sake of the Grail War. If Acht was to be taken at his word, this Grail Vessel would be the perfect Einzbern. It would be more powerful than any of them.

It would also be conscious. Able to think. Able to feel. Able to decide.

A 'machine' as intricate as that would no longer be a tool. It would be human.

How does Acht expect him bear the sacrifice off this "thing", knowing that he will be depriving an autonomous being the choice to live its own life?, into its death? Did he not crave that same liberty for himself?

For years, he led a life that was not his choosing. He was a victim of his own ideals. Even if he tried, he would not be able to truly escape them. But this creature, was no such thing. Though given a purpose, it had the ability to choose not to fulfill it. Could he deprive it of this freedom the way fate deprived him his?

He became so engrossed in these painful ruminations he almost walked into the Old Man. Acht had stopped in front of a large door wrought in some unfamiliar enhanced steel. Immediately, Kiritsugu sensed his magic circuits being curbed, not enough to nullify it, but enough to make it somewhat harmless.

"Beyond these fortified doors," Acht explained, his words dramatically echoing through the hall. "All magic would be contained, unable to wreck havoc to on-going experiments. You might feel a bit differently once you step inside."

Kiritsugu smirked.

"If you could create substance such as this, why could you not create an armor or a weapon that would do the same thing? If you do so, you might not actually need me."

"This same metal emits energy proportionate to the amount of it used, Master Emiya. Small quantities can only emit a small amount of interference... so small it is negligible. I believe we have exhausted its potential."

Acht turned back to the doors and opened them with a series of complicated hand gestures and incantations. Then, he addressed Kiritsugu once more.

"I will remind you not to touch anything. All experiments in this laboratory must not be tainted by the hands of any other mage but those of the Family, otherwise they will have to be discarded."

Kiritsugu knew what the old man meant: _Paws off the merchandize, you dirty mongrel._

He snorted, feeling just a bit offended. It should not bother him what this man thought, but it did. Acht valued pure bloodlines over actual usefulness. If he valued it less, maybe they would have stood a chance in battle long ago.

He was led past tables of suspicious vials and bubbling potions. Precious metals only half converted to Einzbern gold. Unnatural beasts still in their early gestational stages suspended in amniotic fluid. The workshop was clearly an active site. Yet, no other member of the family was present. No doubt they wanted to keep their craft a secret.

No outsider was permitted to see an Einzbern Mage work.

They came to another bolted door at the end of the room. And again, Acht performed a series of hand gestures and incantations possibly even more complicated than the last one. When the doors swung silently forward, Acht motioned for Kiritsugu to go before him.

Kiritsugu did so, taking in the sordid content of Old Man Acht's workshop.

In larger tanks filled with even more amniotic fluid were suspended bodies, eerily possessing the same fair porcelain skin and silver hair.

_Homunculi. Future generations of the_ _Einzbern_ _family._

Their eyes were closed and their bodies were curled into fetal position. They were all full grown. Some male, some female. And under their skins glowed faint magical runes that were still unfinished. All the members of Acht's family, with the exception of Acht and only some of the Elders, started out like this. These homunculi are immortal, more artificial intelligence than human. They will not need the life extenders Acht does.

Kiritsugu's eyes traveled from the golden tanks to the center of the room where a large open tub sat. He could hear soft bubbling from it, like a fish tank with its own respirator. He stepped tentatively toward it, knowing that it contained the homunculus Grail Vessel Acht spoke about in length and fearing what he would see.

"Well, go on," the Old Man intoned behind him. "It is still sedated. It should not be so dangerous."

Kiritsugu took another step forward, and another, and another until he stood right beside the tub. He peered over the rim.

He felt gutted.

The Grail Vessel was beautiful. SHE was INHUMANLY beautiful. She had a small, gentle face punctuated by sharp, high cheekbones and sensual thin lips. Her lashes were long and silver like her hair. Her skin was perfection, her body slender, but with a fullness that made it alluring and effortlessly seductive. And her legs... those legs of marble white went on for days.

Surely... surely this cannot be created by man. Men could not create gods.

"What was the sense in making her this beautiful if you were only going to kill her?" he asked mostly to himself. He was unable to avert his eyes from her stunning face. What would it be like to see those features curl up into a smile? What would her laughter sound like?

Then, as if responding to the sound of his voice, the goddess in the tub opened her eyes and met his gaze.

Kiritsugu felt, for the first time, what it meant for the world to disappeare altogether. Under the power of those deep crimson eyes, he became completely enthralled. In them, he saw the universe, the wisdom of Old Magic and the innocence of a child. He struggled to see her only as a tool, but it was too late. He had seen the life in her. His heart had been won from him even if he did not know it yet.

He could not speak, so he kept his face astute, betraying nothing.

The silver woman rose from her amniotic sustenance and immediately, there were attendants present to cover her perfect body. She kept her gaze straight towards him and Acht... like she saw nothing. But he had seen something akin to a fire in those depths. And a part of him wanted to stoke it, to make this woman fight for herself, to make those hypnotic eyes burn with passion.

_If you agree to become her husband..._

Acht ordered the servants to clothe her and bring her to the receiving chamber. He stepped in front of Kiritsugu, blocking the view.

"Are we still in agreement, Master Emiya?" he asked, his voice dripping with boastful victory.

"I don't see any reason you should have given her that form," Kiritsugu answered coolly. _"_It's hardly useful."

"If you are referring to the homunculus' beauty, I can assure you that it was not my particular design. I merely borrowed the body of Justeaze Lizrich Von Einzbern, our ancestor and one of only two mages to ever hold the title 'archmagus'. It is to her that the homunculus owes her extraordinary beauty and of course, power."

He nodded, pretending to understand, when in fact, he did not.

She was too human, too real, too easily desirable. Her form and power might be coincidence, but her presence did not seem that way. He felt so lost, the way a patient waking from an accident would. He had been completely blindsided.

Why did he assume Acht's contract would be simple enough to complete? It had been so easy to agree to the terms when they were only exchanging words. But now that he'd seen her, he was beginning to realize how difficult this arrangement was going to be.

Images of the people he saved flashed across his mind, reminding him how disastrous everything turned out to be when he started to care. His heart burst at any of their smallest joys. And when they cried, he wept with them.

This woman was to be his wife for the next nine years. Could he keep his heart from her, the way he tried to keep his heart from everybody else? If he loved her, it would destroy him... because in the end, she would be the one thing in the world he cannot save.

Kiritsugu's heart pummeled brutally against his chest. It was not too late to turn back now. He could find another way to save the world. A way that would not entail this kind of cruel sacrifice.

The room began to spin, but he forced his mind to stay focused.

_One chance. A miracle. To end all the suffering in the world. Is this not your goal? Is this not why you're here? Is this not worth any price?_

For a few moments, he kept his eyes shut, mentally separating himself from the travesty that his hands will once more commit. No matter the injustice to this Woman, it would be worth it for the sake of the many. Her oblation will be the world's salvation... and his demise. Finally, he decided. He looked at Acht with dead coldness in his eyes not far from the crystal icicles that formed outside the caslte.

"When are we to marry?"

"As soon as possible, Master Emiya," Acht said with a nod. "But I will extend to you the courtesy of naming the day."

"Good. We marry in three months."

"Three months? Must you wait so long?"

Kiritsugu shrugged.

"I will be a prisoner in this Castle with only that machine as company. I would have her capable of everyday conversation first before becoming her husband."

The Old Man stroked his goatee, considering his proposition. Then, he gave a chilling smile that exposed his perfect, even, white teeth. Kiritsugu was reminded of a snarling wolf.

"Your cold detachment is admirable, Emiya Kiritsugu. I hope it remains that way."

"And why shouldn't it?" Kiritsugu threw back in complete monotone. "Isn't this just - how did you put it? - simply technicality?"

* * *

_Technicality._

The word echoed repeatedly inside Kiritsugu's head like a blacksmith's hammer hitting metal. It was such a cruel word to ascribe to a wedding, crueler still to ascribe it what he and Iri had.

So much changed within the three months he asked for. She learned so quickly, absorbed what he taught faster than a sponge. He could barely keep up. Some nights, they didn't sleep because Iri kept asking and asking and asking questions like "Where was Japan?" or "What was a car?" or "What happened in the Second World War?" or "Who was Michael Bolton?" or "Did nations choose their leaders based on the length of their facial hair?"

He had enjoyed teaching her so much, he sometimes forgot she was marked for the grave. He allowed himself to become infected with her eagerness and enthusiasm. Then, at some point, they reversed roles. From being the teacher, Kiritsugu became the pupil and he learned just how little he knew of being human.

He was so wrong about life, so wrong in believing it was anger, revenge and justice that kept people fighting. Iri taught him something much simpler. She taught him about love.

The only reason we truly valued anything was because we loved. The reason we got angry or sought revenge and justice was because we loved. The reason we kept bettering ourselves and discovering new things was because we loved. Love was so much more than an emotion that made men weak.

It was the only way people could bear the cruelty and coldness of life.

It was only when his eyes were opened this way that he saw her for what she had become: his entire world. At first, he would not believe it. How was it even possible to have your heart stolen by a woman you barely knew? How could anyone bear to have their entire happiness dependent on only one person?

But, every breath she took was life to him. Every word she uttered was his existence. When she laughed, his soul sang. When she cried, his heart broke into a million pieces. And when they kissed...

When they kissed, there was nothing in the world but him and her. Absolute perfection. Absolute bliss. He could stay in her arms forever and never regret it.

He had realized too late that he had fallen for her hard like a fool. Now, he clung to her as desperately as a drowning man would a wooden plank.

And today?

Today, he will swear himself to her... to be her friend. Her lover. The father of her child. Her husband.

_Husband._

A sinful man bound to her body and soul. The title had never felt so heavy until now.

Today, he will become husband to the woman he loved.

The woman he doomed.

It was a farce and they all knew it. But just the same, as he swears to her today so will he do right by her even if it was just for a few years. He will bind himself to this beloved, beautiful woman and give her all the happiness in the world, even if it killed him to try.

_Everything will be alright, my love,_ she said to him one night as he lamented their fate. _Everything will be alright._

Right at this moment, he wanted nothing more than to believe her.

_Please,_ he begged. _Please, give us this small happiness. Just this once._

The doors opened to let in a silent procession of silver and white people.

His chest constricted.

_Please. Just this once, let everything be right in the world._

First were the lesser Einzberns, Apprentices of the Family wearing simple white gowns with no elaborate embroidery. They skulked and worked furiously in the laboratories, trying to perfect that which only years of experience would allow them to perfect. But they were less jaded than their elders and for that, Kiritsugu liked them more.

Then, came the Masters heavily clad in chain links of the famous Einzbern Gold. These men and women spoke very little and were often seen in various ritual chambers, enhancing the products they already made. They wore the burns on their hands as a symbol of their excellence. Too often, they took it as license to be arrogant and condescending. Kiritsugu didn't trust them as far as he could shoot them.

A few paces behind were the Family Elders, the last generation of Einzberns that were brought into this world through natural birth. They wore pristine white robes embroidered heavily with gold, with different colored gems adorning their long, slender fingers. Each gem represented a different area of expertise: emerald for plants, obsidian for metals and amber for minerals. Being a privileged employee of the family, Kiritsugu interacted with them directly. Some - a very select few - were likable. Most of them he just wanted to kill.

Last in this procession was Acht and Irisviel.

Acht wore the same white robes the Elders did, but around his shoulders was a heavy white cloak that fastened around his neck with a diamond link and trailed all the way down to his feet. Only the Family Head had the privilege to wear this, just like the clear-cut diamond ring crested by rubies that adorned his finger. These symbolized his mastery of the Alchemical Arts - including the production of perfect homunculi - and his premium over all other members of the family. Everyone bowed down to his will.

Yet, even this icy majesty seemed mild compared to the bride.

Irisviel wore no veil, nor carried any flower. And instead of donning the elegant, flowing white gown women usually favored on their wedding day, she wore what looked like an impractical, but incredibly artistic body armor.

Over her gown of soft snow white fabric was a metal mesh made of intricately formed Einzbern gold that snaked up her neck but left her shoulders bare. Her skirt was peppered with small eight-pointed stars that clustered closer together as they dropped down her flowing hemline, making her look like she waded in a pool of gold.

It was clear she did not choose her clothes herself.

Yet despite the dazzling and imposing raiment, there was something about her that made her distinctly Irisviel.

Perhaps it was the kindness in her eyes, or the unassuming grace that accompanied her every step, but mostly it was that small secret smile that would be lost to everyone in the room except the man who loved her.

Kiritsugu knew that smile very well. It was the one that always made his heart leap with the knowledge that this incredible, kind and ravishing woman returned his love, the one that chased away all his nightmares with its light.

His eyes caught hers and held. Seeing her so clearly like this, all worry, heartache and anger fled from him: this was their wedding day. This was the day they truly become one.

Acht took his place on the platform. Then, Irisviel took hers beside Kiritsugu. And, together, they knelt in front of their lord and father.

"My children, we have convened here today to witness the voluntary union of these two people: Emiya Kiritsugu, sole heir of the Mage Family Emiya and Irisviel Von Einzbern, daughter of the High-Mage Family Einzbern. As scions of their Great Houses, they are subject to the laws of the Association and the Church. And by these laws, any objection to their union shall deem this ceremony null and void. Are there any in this room who know of any impediment?"

Silence in the Ritual Chambers.

"Very well. Emiya Kiritsugu and Irisviel Von Einzbern, you have come here of your own freewill to make your hearts and souls one. Do you understand the responsibilities and consequences of this decision?"

In unison, they answered, "Yes, Father, we do."

"Then, rise, children and give testament to your desire."

As they did so, one of the ladies-in-waiting took one of their hands and bound them in a thin, gold chain of alchemical creation. It was pure Einzbern magic. It would work better than any piece of paper in enacting a contract, binding the souls instead of just the magic circuits unlike the traditional Oath Chain magi used. With the Chain in place, Acht proceeded.

"Do you, Emiya Ki-"

He stopped abruptly, raising an eyebrow at Kiritsugu's raised hand.

"Yes, child?"

"If I may, Lord Father, I ask that you let me say my own vows."

"You have them adequately prepared, Master Emiya?" Acht asked with more ice than the outside of his Castle. His words were that of polite inquiry, but his tone warned him not to try to wriggle his way out of their agreement.

"Yes," Kiritsugu answered circumspectly, assuring Acht that he had no such intention. Acht nodded.

"Proceed."

Using his free hand, he cupped Irisviel's cheek. Then, looking earnestly in her eyes so she could never doubt his vow or his love, he spoke the words of the traditional Japanese marriage oath:

"Watakushi wa kono josei to kekkonshi. Fufu to narou to shite imasu. Watakushi wa kenkouna tokimo. Soudenai tokimo. Kono hito o aishi. Kono hito o uyamai. Kono hito o nagusame. Kono hito o tasuke. Watakushi no inochi no kagiri. Kataku sessou o mamoru. Koto o chikai masu."

(This woman, I marry. No matter her health, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, help this person until death, protecting fidelity. This, I swear.)

At the last word, Kiritsugu pressed his lips on her brow and immediately the gold chain glowed, beginning the binding process of the oath.

The light pervaded Kiritsugu's being until nothing else existed. He felt it take his soul from within him and merge it with something... something not quite human, something that did not quite feel like another soul. In unions between two human magi, this binding would have been stronger, more permanent and more sacred. That was why marriages between mage families were chosen with extreme care.

It was different when a man binds himself to a homunculus. Despite a homunculus's outward appearance and bodily capabilities, no depth of love, devotion or greatness of power could change the fact that it had no soul to be bound. It remains a machine. Kiritsugu had never been more aware of their disparity than right then, but it didn't matter. There was no point in making arbitrary distinctions when his heart was no longer his. Human or machine, he loved Irisviel.

The sensation held for several moments, allowing Kiritsugu to feel all the warmth and the truth of his troth and then, the glow ebbed and he was back in the Chapel once more. Acht looked at him curiously, but made no comment, merely proceeding with the ceremony.

"Emiya Kiritsugu, you have made your vow. May the Lord God, Protector and Redeemer of Souls, aid you in fulfilling your oath."

He turned to Irisviel. In a rare show of paternal knowledge, he did not venture to ask her of her vows. Instead, he gave her a deep, almost respectful nod as if to secretly give her his blessing.

"Ich, Irisviel von Einzbern," she began in a voice so clear and strong, none in the room could doubt her sincerity. "nehmen Sie, Emiya Kiritsugu, mein Freund, mein Geliebter, der Vater von meinem Kind und meinem Mann. Ich will dein sein in der Zeit und in der Zeit der wollen, in Zeiten der Krankheit, und in Zeiten von Gesundheit, in Zeiten der Freude und in Zeiten der Trauer, in Zeiten des Falls und in Zeiten von Triumph. Ich verspreche Ihnen, schätzen und respektieren Sie, bis hin zur Pflege und Schutz, um den Komfort und ermutige euch, und bei ihnen bleiben, für alle Ewigkeit."

(I, Irisviel Von Einzbern, take you, Emiya Kiritsugu, to be my friend, my lover, the father of my child and my husband. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.)

Upon her last word, she kissed his forehead the same way he did just moments ago. It began with her the same way it did with him. But, the sensation was quickly gone and the Oath Chain glowed even brighter, sending fire coursing through both their bodies. There was nothing gentle nor sentimental in this magical union. Each strand of the Emiya Magic Crest carved in Kiritsugu's being scorched with a white heat as it linked itself with the Einzbern Magic Circuits in Irisviel. He looked at her beyond the blinding glow of the chain, her eyes tightly shut and her teeth clenched against the pain. He could feel her nails bite into his palms like talons and he held onto her, assuring her that everything was going to be alright.

Then, after what seemed to be ages, the pain subsided. Irisviel's grip slackened and they were aware of the thirty pairs of eyes watching them indifferently once more.

"Irisviel Von Einzbern," Acht continued as if nothing happened. "You have pledged your troth. May the Lord God, Protector and Redeemer of Souls, aid you in fulfilling your oath. And now, as you are bound in soul, so you must be bound in body. Master Adalhard bring forth the chalice and Lady Ortraud, the dagger."

A tall Einzbern Master came forward to unbind their hands while an Elder set a chalice of rubies and gold before Acht. To the couple, she presented a similarly decorated dagger.

"As you are bound in soul, so must you be bound in body. To complete this most sacred and unbreakable sacrifice, take this dagger and make an offering in blood."

Kiritsugu took the dagger from the Elder and made a cut on his palm as he spoke the words.

"Only to you, Irisviel von Einzbern, do I offer my heart. You, alone, my body shall serve. This, I swear both now and until the day I leave this earth."

Three drops of blood fell from his open wound to the golden chalice below. He offered the dagger, hilt first, so Irisviel could do the same. When she had sworn her oath, Acht diluted the blood with wine and raised the chalice.

"Lord God, Protector and Redeemer of Souls, Keeper of Oaths, take this offering of blood and wine as a symbol of your children's sacrifice. May You, who see all and hear all, bless their union that it may be peaceful and abundant. Guide your children as they make their journey together. Keep them honest. Keep them true. So, that in everything they do, they might bring You honor and glory."

The chalice was offered first to Kiritsugu who drank from it surreptitiously, knowing well that the act was more symbolic than anything.

Marriages between mages are just as susceptible to infidelity - if not more - as any other marriage despite all the ceremony that came with it. There is no amount of knowledge or unlocked secrets that can make up for the stone cold loneliness that pervaded most unions. Most magi marry to preserve magic circuits and pure bloodlines. His union with an Einzbern should not have been an exception save for the fact that he had fallen hard for Irisviel. And this is made more painfully ironic because it was fated to end with the gravest betrayal of all.

This entire ceremony was the beginning of preparations for war - a farce, a sham. Technicality and nothing more. Every single moment of it was like a shot in the heart, and yet no matter how hard he tried, Kiritsugu could not deny the fact that somewhere deep inside him he was really, truly happy.

After Irisviel has drunk from the chalice, it was taken away along with the ceremonial dagger. Acht then raised his hands to give the final blessing.

"With this act of fidelity and devotion, the ceremony has been completed," he declared in a voice that sounded like thunder. "Now, you shall feel no rain, for in each other is your shelter. Now, you shall feel no cold, for in each other is your warmth. Now ends your loneliness, for in each other you shall find companionship. Now, you are one person, one life, one soul for all eternity. Emiya Kiritsugu, you may now give your wife the Kiss of Life."

Kiritsugu turned to face Irisviel and the whole world disappeared. There was light in her eyes he had never seen before. It filled his soul, healing him, making him whole again. He died when he lost Shirley, but Natalia brought him back, renewed, battle-hardened and ready to forswear all hope and love for himself. He did not realize how much he craved to live again, to feel his heart beat and his soul yearn for someone so precious, so dear. Irisviel was his entire life now and never has he felt the desire to protect anyone's happiness as fiercely as he did right this moment. But, he was never good with words and these sentiments, though intense, would soon lapse into nothing more than regret. So, without caring who watched, Kiritsugu took his wife's radiant face in his hands and kissed her with all the passion and love he promised her.

They had shared many kisses before, fumbling and breathless, in the privacy of closed doors. Each kiss increased in intensity as their wedding day drew close, but none could have prepared either of them for the power that came with a union so greatly and desperately desired. Their lips met with the heat of youth, but the longing of ages. Kiritsugu felt Irisviel's legs give and he caught her against him. They would have stayed merged like this longer if it weren't for the sound of Acht clearing his throat.

Flushed with excitement and a little bit of embarrassment, they finally came apart. Obviously displeased, Acht spoke the final words of the ceremony.

"Go now to your dwelling place to begin the days of your life together. May your days together be good and long upon the earth."

And with that, the fate of Emiya Kiritsugu and his wife Irisviel von Einzbern was sealed.


	2. Chapter 1: Nobody Said

**Chapter 1: Nobody Said**

Perhaps for the third time in the last week, Kiritsugu had to make a mad dash to the nearest open supermarket at ten o'clock in the evening. The last time it was for pumpkin juice. Tonight, it was for brocolli and chocolate.

"Are pregnant women always this temperamental?" he asked the servant who put on his coat and handed him a scarf. The servant made no answer.

"Of course, you wouldn't know. Einzbern servants are not allowed to have families."

As soon as his winter garb was secure, he headed to the basement where they kept the cars. This feeling - the feeling of anxiety and stress over another's condition - was alien to him. Getting married to Iri had felt like the most natural thing in the universe. But fretting over her condition like this was something he was totally unprepared for.

Where he usually listened for the footsteps of spies and guards, he now listened for the slightest change in her breathing. Where he usually kept himself alert for possible attacks, he now tried to stay awake just in case she needed something. Where he usually rushed to dark corners, he now rushed to convenience stores - in the dead of the night - the nearest of which was about 6 miles away. In other words, he was slipping into the role of husband and father so easily, it scared him.

He drove like a man possessed, oblivious to street signs and other vehicles. But he reached the grocery only in time to see the the clerk pull down the titanium mesh over the glass windows. He didn't have much luck with the next one, or the one after that. In the end, he drove 10 miles only to find that his wife had gone back to sleep in the time it took for him to procure what she craved.

These are the days when he wished he didn't love her so much. But he did.

He crawled into bed as gently as he could, careful not to jostle Iri too much. He was just about to doze off when he felt her slender arm drape over his ribs. Moments later, her forehead rested on the back of his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Kiritsugu," she whispered.

The remorse in her voice made his chest hurt. She had nothing to apologize for. This was a small price to pay for a sliver of happiness. He turned to face her.

"You shouldn't apologize for giving voice to your needs," he lectured soothingly, caressing her cheek.

"It's just that you look so fatigued all the time," she reasoned. "And then, I realize only I could have caused it since you spend all your time with me."

"I would have it no other way, Iri."

He kissed her on the forehead.

"Do you really mean that?"

She said this with such apparently bated breath, he was forced to search her eyes for assurance she did not think what he thought she was thinking. The eagerness for approval he saw there confirmed his fears. She had been making such marked progress.

"Yes," he answered, trying not to let the concern bleed into his voice. "How could you think otherwise?"

"I have not the slightest idea how this works among other couples. I was thinking perhaps other wives were less demanding. Perhaps I am being too inconsiderate... or selfish."

He released the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"From what I've observed in films and real life, you are pretty much doing all that is expected of a pregnant woman," he assured her. When she continued to look at him dubiously, he ran down the check list.

"Let me see... Odd cravings - like brocolli and chocolate - check. Getting overly emotional - like crying over Auschwitz - check. All the time sickness, check. Mood swings, check. Constant sighing, check. Do you want me to keep going?"

"Normal pregnant women experienced all I'm experiencing? I am not in anyway deviant or anything?"

"Well, there is one thing you don't do that other pregnant women do all the time..." He trailed off, pretending to find her lacking.

"What?" came her worried reply.

"You don't waddle."

"Waddle?"

"You know... Like a duck. I've observed pregnant women did that when they walked."

"What do I do then?"

"My love," he placed a hand over her extended belly. "You glide."

He bestowed a kiss where his hand was and felt a gentle kick.

"Did you feel that?" Irisviel asked, the smile clearly heard in her voice.

"Yes, I did. She's turning out pretty strong, isn't she?"

"It seems she already recognizes her father... I cannot wait to hold her in my arms, my love. Only think! Two more months and we will have our precious baby. We cannot thank Grandfather enough for agreeing to help us."

He froze.

Jubstacheit Von Einzbern. The fourth - and unwanted - party to this pregnancy. He might be strengthening the baby and Iri and lessening the complications, but Kiritsugu didn't feel too comfortable with how involved the family head was. He was a cruel and ambitious man who cared more about the family's reputation than the family itself. Yet, seeing as his wife was undergoing a very normal conception, he could not bellyache too much. That, however, didn't mean he would be as thankful as Iri was.

To avoid answering, he pretended to yawn.

"Oh, yes. Forgive me, my love," she apologized, taking it as a sign of his fatigue. "I got carried away. Please, please go to sleep. I promise not to wake you anymore tonight."

Irisviel was as good as her word. He drifted off to the Land of Dreams in no time and did not wake until the sun was high in the sky the next morning.

* * *

The wait was grueling. Kiritsugu could hear every tick of his watch, every thump of his heartbeat.

Irisviel's water had broken hours ago and he had wanted to support her through the delivery, but Lady Brunhilde was adamant about letting no one else be present but her and the nursemaids. At first, he determinedly stationed himself outside the door. Her screams started and still he stayed - his head pressed against the cool oak, beseeching all the gods to spare his wife this pain. But the minutes turned to hours and still no cry was heard from the room. When her shrieks weakened, so did his resolve. He sought the detached, cold silence of the ceremonial chapel where he now fearfully sat.

He could lose both of them today. No matter the Einzberns' assurances, he could lose both of them.

His heart squeezed excruciatingly in his chest as he envisioned the death of his wife and his newborn child: Irisviel's vibrant, scarlet eyes staring back at him like a pair lifeless stained glass prosthetics... Their child's little body, pale and unmoving where it should be racked by shallow breathing. The image brought with it such powerful darkness, Kiritsugu wanted to annihilate the God who cursed him to live.

_But_ _you're_ _going_ _to_ _kill_ _her_ _anyway,_ said a cold, calculating voice he recognized was his own.

_You're_ _going_ _to_ _let_ _her_ _die_ _for_ _your_ _dream._ _What_ _was_ _it_ _you_ _said_ _two_ _months_ _ago?_ _A_ _small_ _price_ _to_ _pay_ _for_ a sliver of _happiness?_ _Well,_ _she_ _is the_ _price_ _you_ _are_ _willing_ _to_ _pay._

He looked down on his hands and saw them stained red with Iri's blood. The blood of the innocent. The blood of the wife he loved. Her blood... His blood.

He doubled over in agony, feeling shards of broken glass pierce his body. They twisted inside his veins and fractured into smaller pieces so every part of him stung. He did not deserve that child. He did not deserve his wife. This pain was all that should be given to monsters like him.

How easy it all would have been if he had been able to remain distant. But his Iri... His Irisviel... She had been aptly named.

Bringer of joy. Giver of life.

She had broken through all his defenses as a bulldozer would a weak building. Then, she rebuilt him. Gave him life. Now, she suffered to give him hope. And what had he to offer her in exchange? Love? His love could not save her.

All he had to give was his promise of a better world.

_And who are you fooling with that?_ _She's_ _never_ _even_ _seen_ _it._

He stooped his head and let the gray expanse of despair take over. How long he remained lost like this, he did not know. But by the time one of the nursemaids came to announce his daughter had been born, he had resolved never to love something he didn't deserve ever again.

* * *

**Three months later**

Irisviel sat up from the bed groggily, feeling the exhaustion gnawing at her body, but refusing to be defeated by it. She had insisted on getting up every single time Illya cried despite her husband's suggestions of keeping a schedule and now she's finding herself wishing that her constitution wasn't so weak. She loved taking care of her daughter. She loved holding her, feeding her, singing her to sleep... which was why it was getting increasingly frustrating that her body was not quite able to keep up.

"Iri..." Kiritsugu groaned into his pillow while simultaneously draping an arm across her lap.

"Yes, my love, I know," she replied, giving him a peck on the cheek. "I'll get her."

She moved to slide away from his embrace and Kiritsugu was immediately awake.

"No, Iri, that wasn't what I meant," he said sheepishly. "What I wanted to say was... You should go back to bed. I got this."

"You'll take Illya?" Iri asked with no effort to hide her doubt.

"Yes," he replied, rising to take a shirt from the dresser.

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely."

She took a few moments to think it over. It wasn't that she didn't trust Kiritsugu with Ilya. He was her husband and the child's father. There was no one in the world she would entrust her daughter to but him. It was just that... wasn't it the mother's job to see to the kids? Would it be neglectful of her to thrust this duty on Kiritsugu?

"Parenting is a joint effort, Iri," her husband said, chuckling at the question written all over her face. "You're not being a bad mother just because you're letting me take over the duties sometimes."

Yawning and going back under the covers again, Irisviel replied. "But, then... You'll be tired as well."

"I've had later nights, my love. I'll be fine."

The last thing she remembered before drifting off was Kiritsugu's lips brushing her forehead and the sound of sock feet exiting the room. About half an hour later, Irisviel rolled over to wrap her arms around her husband in gratitude and found the space beside her cold and empty. Kiritsugu wasn't back yet.

_He must have fallen asleep while seeing to Illya._

Softly, she rose from the bed and tiptoed across the room towards the adjoining nursery. She stopped just before reaching the threshold, listening to the quiet noises coming through the door.

"You're a bit of handful aren't you?" she heard her husband croon softly. "Is this what mommy has to do to get you to sleep?"

As if in answer, the baby gurgled.

"No wonder she's tired, then. Aren't you tired too? No? Yes? Yeeeesss... There's the yawn we're looking for. Alright, come here, you little monster. Daddy's got you."

Irisviel watched in wonder as her normally stoic husband repositioned their baby more comfortably against his shoulder and started humming a German lullaby. Kiritsugu was not a particularly affectionate man - although recently he'd been revealing more and more of his sweet and passionate side - so seeing him melt all over the minute baby put Iri at awe. He was unimaginably gentle.

"We have to teach you Japanese soon," he remarked, still humming, as he turned to face the window. "Can't have you forgetting the other half of your culture..."

To Irisviel's surprise, he changed the tune to a haunting Japanese lullaby and sang.

"Nennen korori yo, Okorori yo.  
Bōya wa yoi ko da, Nenne shina

Bōya no omori wa, Doko e itta?  
Ano yama koete, Sato e itta.

Sato no miyage ni, Nani morotta?  
Denden taiko ni, Shō no fue."

She'd never heard him sing before. It was definitely a lovely sound - one which told her the depth of the love he had for his daughter. She thought he insisted on setting up a schedule only because he didn't want her tired all the time. She didn't realize how much he wanted to do this too. Smiling at this newfound discovery about her husband, she turned away from them and crawled into bed once more. A few minutes later, she felt his arm around her waist as he gathered her to him.

"I think I should let you get up more often," she said, chuckling at the way he froze upon knowing she was awake the entire time.

"You saw us?"

"Mm-hmm... I heard you, too. What was that lullaby you were singing to her?"

"Edo komoriuta. My mother used to sing it to me when I was little."

He didn't notice it, but he had instinctively tightened his arm around her, the way he always seemed to whenever they broached the subject of his past. This signaled Irisviel that she had to tread carefully, gently as to not wake the monsters that hound him. She turned in his embrace so she was looking right into his gray eyes. Smoothing her hand over his forearm, she asked.

"Do you remember her well?"

Irisviel could tell by the way his arms had tensed up that he was deliberating on whether or not to dismiss her question. After a few moments, he rolled on his back, taking her with him so she knew he was going to at least try to talk about it. However, their current position placed her head on his chest, making it more difficult to see his face.

"I don't remember much of her," he began in a constrained voice, absent-mindedly drawing patterns on her arm. "She died when I was young. But, I remember she sang to me every night."

"How long did you have with her?" Irisviel asked.

"Give or take five years. We were still living in Fuyuki, then, so that must have been before my father started running from the Association."

"How did you lose her?"

Irisviel lifted her head to look at his sharp, handsome features. His eyes had darkened at the mention of death, his mouth now shaped in a taut line. There was very little in her husband's life that was easy to talk about. The first few weeks of their love affair was fraught with potholes and crevices he wanted to avoid. These lessened considerably in the following months, but they never really disappeared. Irisviel doubted that they ever would. She smoothed a hand over his cheek to make him look at her and assure him.

"You don't have to answer me, my love, if it's too painful. I understand."

He smiled at her sadly, then kissed her gently on the lips.

"She would have loved you..." he whispered. "My father never explained the details in full to me, but I know they met an accident while driving on the way home. It was on the news. When I became old enough, I returned to Fuyuki to investigate the accident on my own. The night my mother died could have been the night the Church and the Association had started hounding my father. The rain at the time was nowhere hard enough to make the roads slippery and my mother had always been a careful driver. The only explanation I could think of for their car to go skidding like that is if my mother had been driving more than 100 km/hr. They might have been running from someone."

"Why wouldn't your father tell you the truth?"

"I wouldn't know for sure," Kiritsugu answered with knitted brows. "All I know is that whenever I asked him, he'd tell me it wouldn't do to live in the past. My mother was gone and I should just learn to accept it. Even if he never did. I'd like to think it was because he felt responsible for what happened, but mostly I think..."

He trailed off.

"You think what?"

"Mostly, I think it's because talking about her was too painful. He couldn't even so much as say her name. He buried himself in his work, trying to forget everything, running from his nightmares while simultaneously blaming them for it. He told himself there was nothing more important than his magecraft, than being able to get to the Root of the Universe. In the end, that was all that was left of him. He died not having anything to show for it."

He said all this so contemptuously, Irisviel fell silent. She knew Kiritsugu hated his father. She knew his father cared very little for him as he grew up, choosing instead to focus on magic instead of raising his son. She knew his father was responsible for the death of an entire village - including a girl named Shirley, whom she believed to be her husband's first love. What she didn't know was that the fate of both men when it came to family was quite the same.

"Are you afraid you'll become him?" she asked softly, lowering her eyes to his chest.

He didn't answer immediately, making Irisviel worry that she might have pushed too far. It happened sometimes - not often - that some of their more personal conversations ended with an icy response from her husband. He had always been quick to make amends, but she still didn't like the feeling of being shut out or putting him in a position where he felt he had to put up his defenses. She was about to apologize for asking when he put two fingers under her chin to force her gaze on him.

"NO."

She blinked at him, surprised at the calmness and firmness in his voice and openness in his eyes. He had never spoken of the future with so much optimistic clarity before. When she continued to stare at him, he smiled slightly and began explaining.

"My father died not living for anyone but himself. He spent so much time in his workshop he forgot that the world continued to exist without need of him or his work. I harbor no such illusions. I know that in this world, there are others like me who have devoted their lives to ending all injustice. I am a piece in a larger game. It only so happened that I was provided more efficient means to fulfill my end... And the world needs peace... Always..."

"And living for other people?" she raised her eyebrows at him.

"I live for the rest of mankind," he answered simply.

"No, you carry the burden for the rest of mankind," she pointed out. "That's not the same as living."

He laughed and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"I really am no match for your wisdom, am I? Alright, you got me."

He gathered her tighter against him and smiled at her, honesty and love pouring from his eyes.

"I live for you, Irisviel von Einzbern. For you and our daughter, Illya and no one else."

"That's good to hear. So, you'll see to her again tomorrow?"

"My love, I'd have it no other way."

* * *

**Alchemical Chamber**  
**One year later**

"He appears very taken with the child."

"In spite of himself, I think."

"You are certain about telling her, then, Lord Father Acht? There is no questioning where Irisviel's loyalty lies. Emiya Kiritsugu can be a dangerous man when challenged."

"And what is a Fifth Generation mage against a family like ours? Besides, neither of them can take Illyasviel to Fuyuki City. The child will remain under our care. That should be precaution enough."

"As you wish. Only - "

"Only what, Brunhilde? Speak, do not leave it there."

"Nothing, Lord Father. There is nothing I wish to say."

"You clearly have an opinion to express. SPEAK!"

"I only meant to say that it would be such a shame to tear this family apart... When they have so much potential."

"A potential that will be used to bring OUR family glory."

"It is clear how much he loves them. How are we assured he will not betray us when the time comes to decide?"

"Worry not, Brunhilde. In the end, a man as committed to his ideals as Emiya Kiritsugu will not hesitate to make sacrifices... Even if those sacrifices mean destroying the people he loves."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

If anyone is wondering what Edo Komoriuta sounds like, listen to this: watch?v=8DrsS70Punc

The German lullaby is LaLeLu (Nur der Mann im Mond schaut zu): watch?v=cgg7E0KCGS8


	3. Chapter 2: The Old Man's Challenge

**Chapter****2: ****The ****Old ****Man's ****Challenge**

The gates of Einzbern Castle opened with not so much as a creak. Inside Old Man Acht's forcefield, the world seemed to have fallen silent. There was no blizzard, no wind, just a light case of snowfall. Kiritsugu suppressed a shiver.

It was eerie when the world was quiet like this. Experience taught him that such unbridled peace was mere prelude to tragedy. It cannot be trusted. Yet - perhaps it was his aching limbs or his newly-found terrifying eagerness for his family or a mixture of both - he found himself revelling in it. He was forced to return briefly to his old activities by Acht's orders and found nothing in his old life to miss.

Irisviel was enough. She was more than enough.

An attendant greeted him at the door but he ignored him. He hurried to the East Wing instead, trying hard not to betray his longing while failing miserably to make his feet go slower. His watch said 1pm. Ilya would just have finished feeding by now. Iri would be in the nursery alone.

This thought made him walk faster.

His expectations were dashed, however, when he found one of his wife's maidservants in the nursery instead. Iri very rarely left Ilya to the care of others except him.

"Master Emiya," greeted the servant, bowing slightly as he made his way to his daughter's crib. "We expected you -"

"To return next week," he replied blandly. "My trip was cut short. Where's your mistress?"

"With His Excellency,"

He stopped stroking Ilya's cheek and looked up. Acht never showed himself to either of them if he could help it. And when he did, they always saw him together. He only asked Irisviel to come alone if he was administering magical treatment for her pregnancy. Since these sessions came less often the closer Iri got to delivering, he assumed these sessions were over now that Ilya was born.

"How often has she been summoned to Acht while I was away?"

"This is the second time, Sir."

"Was she in anyway different when I left?"

The servant stared at him not comprehending the question. So, he made himself clear.

"Did she look like she was sick? Did she ever complain of being in pain? Did she seem weaker?"

"A little, Sir. But that was two weeks ago. She'd been back to normal since then."

Kiritsugu breathed deeply and made his way to the door. He was going to send this idiotic maidservant away so he could be with his daughter alone. Now, all he wanted to do was talk to his wife. She'd been harboring secrets from him with Acht. Why?

Iri... Beautiful, wonderful Iri. She's changed so much since he met her. She had life, a newfound purpose. She was almost unrecognizable... Except in moments like this. He could never understand how she could still trust Acht this way. The man practically left her to die in order to prove his prowess.

_But she is also an_ _Einzbern_, he reminded himself. _The family does have its peculiarities_.

When he finally reached the laboratory, he noticed something quite out of place: The entire wing was quiet. Not the same peaceful quiet that greeted him earlier, but the kind of quiet that made his stomach churn. He could hear muted murmurs from the other side of the wall.

"...might not win," said Acht's voice matter-of-factly.

"But I thought you had faith in him," replied Irisviel sounding a bit confused but not the least bit surprised.

"I have faith in his abilities. However, time and alchemy has taught me not to fall into complacency. Kiritsugu might be a brilliant player but I cannot leave it at that. The other Masters might be just as brilliant. I want to make sure."

"I understand your desire to win the Grail. For the family. But... How is this relevant to me and Ilya?"

Acht didn't answer immediately. He bided his time, moving across the room. He must have reached the window at the far end because he sounded distant when he spoke.

"Ilya is how I make sure."

For a span of a few moments, Kiritsugu's vision unfocused. Waves of shock and horror ripped through his heart like the jagged edge of a hunting knife. So, Ilya... _their_ Ilya...

"...is a vessel?" Irisviel whispered, giving voice to his thoughts. It could barely be heard, but he heard it nonetheless. His wife's fearful, despairing utterance could not have expressed his anguish better than the most bloodcurdling scream. Irisviel plunged herself into diatribes of his cruelty, his heartlessness, his unworthiness to be the head of this family. Somewhere in her frantic, desperate accusations she must have begun attacking him. Kiritsugu heard glasses shatter, and hands being restrained only to lash out again. Yet, Acht said nothing.

He should move. He should get her out of there before she gets hurt, but his limbs weighed like lead columns.

"She was not yours to touch. SHE WAS NOT YOURS! How could you?! She was not coined like either of us. She was birthed, born out of love. Ilya... little Ilya... She was ours... How could you..."

Irisviel's impassioned outburst dissolved into tears, waking Kiritsugu from his paralysis. Iri should not have to face this alone. This was a mutilation to him as it was to her. And mutilators must pay. He assumed his cold façade and entered the room. Both occupants looked towards his direction.

Without taking his eyes off Acht, he reached his hand towards Irisviel, asking her to come away. She made his way to him, tears still streaming down her face.

Neither men spoke. They didn't have to. Acht understood. He understood and was undaunted.

"If you want to save her, you'll have to win."

Kiritsugu folded Irisviel into him and walked away.

"Don't worry. I plan to."

* * *

They returned to the East Wing in silence - Irisviel clutching tightly to Kiritsugu's jacket, Kiritsugu holding her tightly against him.

This was not what they wanted for Ilya. She was meant to have a life of her own, to have a choice on how she wanted to live. She was meant to be free. Now, it seems Acht would deprive her of that as well... As an insurance in case they fail.

This was a brutal, heartless mutilation and it made him sick to the core.

They found Ilya awake and restless in the arms of the maidservant when they entered the nursery. Irisviel took her giggling form from the maidservant and went to stare out the window.

"Leave us," he ordered the maid quietly.

Framed by the white light of the first snow day, Irisviel looked like a goddess carrying her beautiful child. In a different day, he would have gazed adoringly at her, happy to watch her until the world ends. But today the goddess was sad and her husband despaired with her.

"Iri," he began.

"How much did you hear?" She asked with her back still to him. He came closer and held her by the shoulders, leaning in to press his lips to her hair, closing his eyes to shut the world out.

"Enough."

"We can't change her back," she whispered. "There is no way to change her back."

Irisviel clutched Ilya tighter against her - as if shielding their daughter with her arms could undo the damage that was done. But those arms can do nothing now. The same way any wishful thinking or regret can do nothing to to turn back time. All that is left - always and immutable - is justice.

"Acht will pay for this," he answered grimly, feeling his mind slide a little into its darker place. Irisviel must have felt this too, but where she usually intervenes to bring him back, she now remains silent. This particular lack of effort on her part made him backtrack. If she was allowing him to indulge in this severely cruel mindset, he wasn't going to take her with him.

Sensing that his permission has reached its limit, she turned to him and smoothed her knuckles over his cheek.

"I want that too, believe me," she sighs as he relents enough to kiss her hand. "When I think of what he has taken and what he still can do... but that doesn't matter because he won't have to. We will win this war and you will take Ilya away from here."

"Acht must still be brought to justice. Men like him should not be allowed to continue to do as they please," Kiritsugu insisted stubbornly.

"I agree, men like him should be put down. I would urge you to pursue this, if only I'm not so convinced you are doing it for another reason," she waited for him to deny her. When he didn't, she went on speaking with wisdom that will never cease to amaze him even after the Grail War.

"My love, you speak of justice as if it can be dealt as simply as lighting your cigarette, but you forget how easy it is to mistake justice for vengeance," she paused again. "It's not always so simple to separate yourself from any situation... especially if the situation involves hurting those you love."

He looked away from her, trying to hide from those red eyes that burned through every single one of his caprices. It was frightening how much of him she understood, yet at every turn, she met him with only love and unwavering patience. So, like a child, he always ended up letting her lead him into light once more - like she was doing now.

"You taught me to fight for myself, to be angry at those who wish to hurt me because I am worth something. How did I answer you?"

He smiled slightly at the memory.

"You said we only fight for those we love."

"Do you still believe that?" she asked. The answer was yes, but she was going to make him say it for his own sake.

"Yes."

"Then, fight for Ilya. Fight by taking her away from here and never looking back. You have a chance at having the life we could never have together. If you go after Acht, you'll be throwing it away."

She brought his eyes to hers with a gentle push on his left cheek. She smiled when he finally met her gaze.

"We will succeed in this, Kiritsugu. And then, we can have the world we've always dreamed of."

A sharp pang of pain stabbed at his heart. Here he was wallowing in his darkness when she was already making plans for the future she will not see. She spoke of their dream as if it did not require her sacrifice, as if it did not mean her death. And in that moment, he knew that he would never be able to refuse her anything ever again for as long as she lived.

_Which won't be long now. You have eight years and this will all be over. Eight years, Kiritsugu. Can you live beyond those eight years?_

He took a deep breath, pushing away the shadow voices that lingered in his head.

"Alright."

She frowned a little bit and tilted her head to the side.

"You sound like a child being forced into the dentist's chair, but, I guess it doesn't matter. You have agreed with me."

She walked away from him and put Ilya down among the numerous stuffed animals he brought back whenever he went out. The little girl immediately went for the baby dragon he bought from China and held it up to him. Taking the soft plush creature from her little hands, he pretended not to know what it is. She gave him a few moments to figure out what the toy was then, apparently deciding that he won't, started to go pick up a different one. He grabs her from behind and ruthlessly attacks her with it, roaring and whooshing as they tumbled onto the carpet.

"Still hasn't tired of Emperor, I see," he commented over Ilya's loud, delighted squeals. She was climbing over his lap, messing up his hair, hands outstretched, feet slipping all over his crossed legs.

"I might have something to do with that," Irisviel replied from the other side of the room. Coming closer, she continued, "I doused it with a bit of your aftershave when you left. She wouldn't stop crying at night until I gave her something that smelled like you. She missed you."

"Is she the only one that missed me?" He teased playfully.

"Well..." she replied candidly, punctuating it with the smile that never failed that made his heart beat just a little bit faster. He kissed her briefly and gently on the lips.

"I missed you too."

They looked at each other quietly for a few more moments. This was new to them. Neither of them has ever longed for another the way they do now and Kiritsugu, used to loss and grief as he was, found himself loving the change. He didn't like being away from Irisviel, he discovered. But he loved how he can miss her and want her so badly.

"What is it?" she asked.

Ilya picked this particular moment to launch herself into her mother's arms and started attacking with her dragon the way Kiritsugu did just moments before. It didn't quite have the precision, but Iri, always ready to drop everything for her daughter, pretended to get defeated on the floor, fending herself from Ilya's poorly aimed attacks and groaning like they actually hurt. Ilya squealed and giggled with delight as her parents took turns chasing her across the room.

They spent the better part of the afternoon playing with their daughter and catching up on two-weeks worth of news. The incident with Acht was never mentioned again (in fact, it was as though it never happened). It put Kiritsugu in such a positive frame of mind that when he was summoned by the Old Man for an update on the Cornwall Excavation, he was able to face him with relative calmness and ease.


	4. Chapter 3: Upgrades

There is nothing in the world that is more unwelcoming than Castle Einzbern. There was nothing on its facade that suggested life and the environment that surrounded it seemed too cold and harsh to be bearable for anyone. It was majestic and regal, but it was frozen... As if time had forgotten it.

This frigid exterior was no glamour -the Einzberns never tried to hide their power and wealth - but it belied the bustling network of people within. Inside this Winter City was the never ending movement of servants, assistants, mages, scholars, and alchemical masters all eerily possessing the same silver blonde hair, alabaster skin and fiery ruby red eyes. They never all slept at the same time. Even in the dead of the night, one will be able to hear incantations or explosions or alien roars somewhere deep within the Castle.

However, that wasn't all that made the family peculiar. There was one other fact that set them apart from other mage families: The Einzberns worked within a unforgivingly rigid family hierarchy.

At the bottom were the servants. They were homunculi with the same genetic make-up as all the Einzberns, but they were not endowed with Magic Circuits. They were basic models, so to speak. They were programmed to do menial work and, unlike their superior "relatives", their design was closer to normal humans. The main difference was that they were programmed with limited autonomy. They could only make decisions that were related to their programmed jobs.

On the next tier were the chamber assistants. They were mostly like the servants, but they were designed to help in laboratory procedures and so were bearers of the Einzbern secrets. They were unbreakable, programmed to self-destruct when interrogated.

Several steps above them were the scholars, Einzbern family members who were not born with magic circuits. They were devoted to writing every single event in the history of the Family. They never left the vaults except for special occassions (like Irisviel's wedding and the banquet held every fortnight).

Above the scholars were the mages. These were Einzberns in training. They were over-bearing, jaded juveniles who thought they were princes of the world by virtue of their blood but they could easily be silenced by one of Irisviel's pointed stares. They often assisted the alchemical masters.

The alchemical masters were expert mages who were unfortunate enough to be born after the Elders. In the natural course of the world, they should be in charge of the family by now, but since the Einzbern elders discovered the Elixir of Life, they were deprived of what should have been their birthright. They resented the Elders - their parents. They resented outsiders like Kiritsugu even more.

At the top of this rather tense food chain were the Elders. They were an "aged" group, having drank the Elixir of Life only during their advanced years. They were highly-skilled mages and expert alchemists who can create life almost from nothing. They were cold and inexorable, but having seen many, many years, they were less arrogant and obstinate than their natural-born children.  
Some of them were fond of Irisviel - more fond of her than their own children perhaps because of her extraordinary beauty and talent - and so Kiritsugu tried not to judge them too harshly.

In a class all on his own was Jubstacheit von Einzbern, the King of the Winter City, the High-Mage, the Lord Father... and Kiritsugu's unwilling and discriminating father-in-law. He rarely showed himself to the "privileged" couple and when he did, it was almost always accompanied by a summons. He had no fondness or love for Irisviel (who was his most perfect child yet), but he valued her beyond all the other Einzberns. Kiritsugu hated him to the core.

Which was why he dreaded this long walk to Acht's workshop. Irisviel was supposed to accompany him to this sure-to-be-unpleasant interview, but she had been disappearing into her own workshop in the West Wing more frequently these days. He would ask her what she was up to if only he did not think it would be unfair. He himself would be gone for days at a time, sometimes not explaining where he was going precisely. He had no right to question his wife what she was doing when she was just inside the Castle. Besides, if he were to be completely honest with himself, he would be forced to admit that all this fussing was only because he really, really missed her. And right now, when he was in at the stage of denial, he didn't care to admit that at all.

Upon reaching the door to the workshop, Kiritsugu knocked three times and waited for Acht to bid him enter. He stepped in when the door opened on its own.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me, Lord Father," he said coolly, walking towards the ornate desk where the old man was studiously examining a piece of rare metal.

"You said you needed something that is of relevance your mission," Acht replied without looking up.

"Yes, Father."

"The support you are receiving is not enough? I thought we have provided you with everything you need."

Acht's tone drawled, containing the subtlest hint of sarcasm that was not lost to Kiritsugu's ears. He still refused to look at him despite his being right in front of the large desk. For a moment, Kiritsugu was tempted to grab the specimen he was examining and throw it across the room, but he realized this would be detrimental to his chances of winning over the family head to his scheme.

"Your support is more than enough," he said carefully. "But, it is - how do I say it - outdated?"

Acht looked up and stared at him incredulously. _Finally._

"Outdated?" he repeated slowly, as if he had just encountered the word and was testing how it sounded. "We are dealing with magical methods, my son. They have not changed in centuries."

_Which is why you are all predictably easy to kill._

"You were the one who insisted on using my methods," Kiritsugu pointed out.

"In the battlefield, you are free to employ whatever strategy you deem best."

"We are already in the battlefield."

"The battlefield is in Fuyuki City."

"The battlefield begins where the preparations are to be made."

Acht's eyes narrowed. He knew what his son-in-law was about to ask. After all, Kiritsugu had been in Castle Einzbern for more than a year now. It was only a matter of time before he would begin demanding some changes and privileges. But, he had expected the young man to delay his preparations, distracted as he was by his family. Apparently the time had come.

"What is it you ask for, Master Emiya?" the old man finally relented after a tense pause.

"Where do you want me to begin?"

"At the beginning. That is always helpful."

Kiritsugu resisted the urge to smirk. This was one of the things that both irritated him and made him admire the old man. He. still had fire in him even after two hundred years. And despite all the defeats he's suffered, he will always be the condescending, over-bearing, delusional, son of a -

"I want phone lines connecting the Castle to the rest of the outside world. I want cellphone signals to become accessible here in this dead zone and computers with internet connectictivity that will allow me to communicate with my associate Hisau Maiya as well as my intels at the Clock Tower. I want stereos installed in our study -"

"Do you have a list of these demands?" Acht cut him off, one-hand raised, eyebrows furrowed in obvious displeasure.

"Yes, I already furnished your assistant with it," Kiritsugu replied.

"Are your ridiculous requests so numerous? Would it save time to have Amaliric bring your list to me?"

Kiritsugu smiled sardonically.

"No, I'm almost through," he said. "I want a television screen and cable channels to go with the stereos and..."

"A television screen? What on earth do you need that for?" Acht interjected. Kiritsugu ignored him and named the last, most extravagant request:

"A car."

"A CAR?!"

"Two cars, to be exact. One to be kept here. The other to be stashed in a hotel in Fuyuki."

"Master Emiya," Acht intoned warningly, rising from his chair. "I understand some of your requests and are prepared to grant them if you insist they are necessary for your mission. But... stereos and TV screens? Why, I've never heard of any mage family ever stooping so low! They are worthless tools that distract from what people should really be doing. You propose to bring those unnecessary and idiotic contraptions in my house? AND TWO CARS?! If you needed to get out of the Castle, we could very well ask for rentals. The same solution could also answer your transportation concerns in Fuyuki. There is no need to purchase such undesirable mechanisms! I fail to understand their relevance in your situation."

"They're meant for Irisviel's education."

This gave the family head pause. Acht might be an iron-fisted jerk especially when it comes to sharing the resources of the family to outsiders, but he suffered from one peculiarity: he could never deny Irisviel anything with regard to her education. Back when Kiritsugu was just beginning to teach Iri, he had asked for books, magazines, vinyl records, paintings, photos - basically anything he could use to teach her - and Acht granted them without even so much as a resistance. He was always curious as to how fast and how much Irisviel could learn. He did not really care about her per se, but it seemed the novelty of having his prowess verified would never completely wear off.

"Hmmmm... Do you have an estimated cost of these ludicrous items you propose to purchase with the family's resources?"

"Yes. I've also detailed the exact items I want."

Acht studied him for a moment and heaved a heavy sigh.

"Very well. I will have Amaliric bring me the copy of your list and then send servants to purchase what you are asking for... On one condition."

_How predictable_. Kiritsugu thought.

"You will be the one to oversee the installation of everything. Including the satellite disk for the TV."

* * *

**One Week Later**

Friedrich was a proud cable man. He'd been a cable man for the last 15 years and he was the best in his job. He could work through anything, at any hour, on any day. But not on days like this.

The snow had fallen heavily last night, just like the weather channel said. So, today the earth was covered by a thick, undesirable blanket of snow that had enough time to solidify overnight. And since it was December, the temperature had dipped to minus 10.

No, Friedrich did not expect to work on days like this.

So, why was he headed to this remote, unknown forest in the middle of nowhere with no other direction apart from 'drive north from the town of Bern until you reach a checkpoint?

"Because you're a damn fool Friedrich Schrieber, that's why."

When Alfonse called him up this morning telling him he got a job in one of those castles further north, he had jumped straight out of bed and into the shower. Jobs in those castles were extremely rare since most of them were museums, but there were a few in the are who had residents in them. One - Castle Einzbern in particular - was rumored to house an ancient and powerful family that dabbled in magic. Locals said that the members of the family were so beautiful, they couldn't leave the Castle without being mobbed. Others said they were the worst form of purists, marrying each other just to preserve the bloodlines. Still, others believed they were skilled enough in the art of alchemy that they didn't need to marry anyone just to ensure their continuity.

These were superstitious beliefs, of course. Friedrich had worked for enough great families in his time to know that none of them were sorcerers. They might be great escapists and illusionists (especially when it came to taxes), but they had no real magic. The family living in Einzbern Castle would be no different.

_Still, though_. He thought. _It would be interesting to see what kind of people lived in an actual castle._

He drove out about 15 mi from the last village until he reached the expected checkpoint. There he was stopped by a pale-haired man with dark red eyes wearing a white fur-trimmed coat that blended with the horse he was riding. If he and the horse weren't standing near Friedrich's car, they could have easily been missed.

"Are you Friedrich Schreiber?" the man asked in detached tones, leaning down into the open window.

"Yes," Friedrich answered. _Who in the world still rode horses for transport?_

The man looked very odd, he decided. There was something so... disturbing about his face... something unnatural. He definitely looked human, but Friedrich couldn't shake the feeling that he was anything but.

"Can I see your identification?"

He handed over his ID and his driver's license. The pale man examined his documents carefully and then returned them to him saying,

"Follow the road until you reach a man dressed fully in black. Ask no questions. He will direct you to your destination."

_Ask no questions? Why would I be asking any questions?_

Thirty minutes of driving later, he found out why.

The person the pale man told him to look out for was just as dark as the other was light. Yet, they were similar in one respect: they both looked just as cold and just as uninterested in anything around them. He was definitely not German... or European for that matter.

_Japanese, maybe?_ Friedrich thought.

"You're Friedrich Schreiber from the cable company?" said the man in perfect German.

"Yes," answered Friedrich, handing him the same documents he showed the other man and the work order from his boss. The Japanese man perused his documents even more meticulously than the pale man did and once he was satisfied that they were not forgeries (at least that was what Friedrich thought), he stashed them inside the pocket of his trench coat.

"Good, you're just in time," he remarked. "I'm Emiya Kiritsugu. I'm the one you were conversing with on the phone. Can I ask you to step out of the car?"

Friedrich thought this was an odd request, but he'd gotten weirder ones before. Besides, something about this man told him it's a very bad idea to get on his dark side. So, he stepped out of the car and allowed Emiya Kiritsugu to inspect every nook and cranny of it. It took the man only about five minutes to conclude that he wasn't bringing in anything other than what a cable installation necessitated. Then he turned towards Friedrich once more, holding out a rectangular piece of black cloth.

"Wear this over your eyes and do not remove them until I tell you."

This was said so nonchalantly, so familiarly it gave the cable man the impression that this Emiya person has done this several times before. What was it about this black-clad Asian that made Friedrich's hair stand on end? He certainly looked normal enough - definitely more normal than the pale man from a few minutes ago. And he hasn't acted too out of the ordinary. So, what was it? What was it about him that made him seem... threatening?

Friedrich had worked for eccentric people before, but this was by far the weirdest scenario he has found himself in. The family in Castle Einzbern must be really shady people if they were this paranoid about their security and if they dealt with people as suspicious as the man standing before him. It was probably a bad idea to service them. But... what was it that Alfonse told him this morning? That they were paying him five times what he normally got? That's more than enough to give to the children's hospital this Christmas. Besides, it's just one job...

"How am I supposed to drive with my eyes covered?" he asked, realizing later how stupid that question was. Mr. Emiya didn't seem to mind, though.

"I'll drive."

The journey took about an hour and half more. Friedrich's eyes were covered the entire time and not once did Mr. Emiya address him. He tried starting a conversation several times, in the hopes of alleviating the feeling of danger in the air, but each time he was met with one-syllable answers. Not very encouraging. So, he stopped. When they arrived at the Castle, Mr. Emiya told him to get out of the car and remove his blindfold.

What he saw astounded him.

Castle Einzbern was, by far, the largest castle he has ever seen. It was completely white, with high turrets and numerous windows that made it look like it never truly belonged in the 21st Century. It boasted a wide courtyard and promised acres and acres of frozen gardens beyond the immediate vicinity. It was protected by high walls that would have intimidated even the bravest of climbers. But, it wasn't beautiful. No, Friedrich thought. Beauty needed an indication of life and warmth - two things that this Castle did not have by the truckloads. The Castle was magnificent, opulent, extravagant and awe-inspiring, but it was not beautiful. He could not imagine living in a place as cold and as impersonal as this.

"The satellite will be installed there," the man Kiritsugu said, pointing to a nearby turret that was not quite as high as its brothers. "It's not the optimum position for a signal, but that's the farthest that my father-in-law will allow."

_Father-in-law? This man was a member of the_ _Einzbern_ _family?_

Kiritsugu continued on.

"The cables will have to run as inconspicuously through the hallways as possible. Make them invisible if you can. You're not allowed to drill holes on any of the wood surfaces, either, so you'll have to find a way around that. The first few rooms are in use, so you will have to work past them quickly. Also, everything will have to be finished within today. We'll pay extra if it's necessary."

"Is there anyone I should avoid?" Friedrich asked candidly, smiling at Kiritsugu and then realizing he must have made a terrible joke when the other man raised an eyebrow.

"You'll avoid everyone, if you know what's good for you," Kiritsugu answered icily. "The family is very particular about who enters the house."

Just then, the sound of galloping horses was heard echoing across the courtyard. Friedrich turned his head to see who could be out riding when it was this freezing. From a distance - and coming closer at neck-braking speed - he spied a pair of white horses carrying distinctly female riders. He turned towards Kiritsugu questioningly, but found that the Asian's gaze was fastened on the approaching riders. Is it a trick of the light or has the man lost a little bit of his severity?

The riders halted just before the horse's hooves hit the first step of stairs that lead to the main door, rewarding all those present - including the white-clad servants that seemed to have appeared out of thin air - with a spectacular show of horsemanship. Friedrich squinted to get a better image of the rider.

He couldn't yet see their faces, but he was sure that the riders were not of equal stature. One was taller and cloaked in what could only be a fur coat made entirely out of ermine and the other slightly shorter and stockier and wearing a more modest cloak of wool. The former must be a daughter - if not the lady - of the house.

Both women alighted and handed the reins over to the attendants. Friedrich expected them to continue walking towards the house without even so much as a glimpse of their faces and was genuinely surprised and dumbfounded when the taller woman threw back her hood and revealed a face that would make even angels weep out of envy.

She must have been the most beautiful creature on the planet. Her hair was as fair as those of her servants, but it shone more luxuriously. Her eyes were an alluring shade of dark red and her cheeks were tinged with a healthy shade of rose. She had an aquiline nose, matched with high and sharp cheekbones that lent just the right amount of sharpness to make her seem more dangerous. But what was more captivating were her lips... they were thinner on top and fuller at the bottom, and seemed always to curve upwards in a generous smile.

Friedrich's heart melted just at the sight of her.

"You didn't tell me you were riding today," Kiritsugu called out to the goddess as she came nearer. She laughed musically, but waited until she didn't have to exert herself to be heard before she answered.

"I was going to tell you, you know. I was even going to ask you to come with me, but it seems you already made plans."

Her voice sounded like wind chimes and though her outward appearance reflected the frozen terrain of her home, she seemed kind, warm and full of life... which was why Friedrich was genuinely surprised to see her plant a familiar and affectionate kiss on Mr. Emiya's cheek. His facial expression did not so much as change, but Friedrich did notice how his arm instinctively wrapped around the woman's waist in a gesture that was equally protective and possessive.

"Who is this?" she said, turning towards Friedrich. He never had problems talking to beautiful women before, yet now his throat seemed to have gone dry. He couldn't do anything except stare at the very picture of perfection before him.

"I... uhh... My name is... uuuhh..." he stuttered.

She looked at him strangely, then addressed Mr. Emiya once again.

"What's wrong with him, Kiritsugu? Is he broken?"

"NO!" Friedrich exclaimed a little too loudly which earned him a surprised stare from his employers. "No, what I meant, Ma'm was that... I am not broken, oh, no. I am a perfectly functional human being. I mean, I can't be broken. Broken is for machines and I'm not a machine... I am... human... I..."

The woman continued looking at him, confusion spreading across her beautiful features. He saw how she struggled to keep smiling.

"I'm Friedrich Schreiber, Ma'm. From the cable company."

"The cable company!" she exclaimed, joy once again radiating from her. "Kiritsugu hired you, then? For the T.V.s?"

"Yes, Ma'm."

"That's wonderful!" She turned sparkling eyes towards the man Kiritsugu. "My love, how did you-?"

"I told him it was for your education," he told her, trying - and failing - to conceal a disdainful smirk.

"And he allowed it just like that?"

"He put up a fight and several conditions... one of which is for the work to be finished in a day. You should head inside if Mr. Schreiber is to start working." He relinquished his light hold on her and glanced towards the door. "I don't think he can function half as well when you're out here distracting him."

Friedrich opened his mouth to protest, but was saved from making the effort by the lady's laughing rebuke of Mr. Emiya's words.

"You're being absurd," she said, rolling her eyes. "But, you're right. I should be heading inside. Ilya's probably awake by now and I should go see to her." Then, extending her hand to the still-too-stunned cable man who failed to notice notice how archaic the gesture was, she said "Thank you so much for coming today. It's cruel to make anyone work when the temperature is this low, but our need is urgent. I can't let you in the castle for respite or food, but I'll make sure the servants provide for you."

She gave Mr. Emiya a quick kiss on the cheek and disappeared through the heavy double doors. Her disappearance jarred Friedrich out of his stupor.

"I'm sorry, Sir," he apologized hastily. "I didn't mean to - "

"It's alright, Mr. Schreiber." Mr. Emiya cut him off, the cold, detached expression once more forming on his features like a mask. "It's not your fault. We don't receive a lot of visitors here and the few that have had the privilege have reacted to the sight of Irisviel the same way you have. Don't worry too much about it. With your luck, you probably wouldn't see her again."

This was said so matter-of-factly, Friedrich didn't know whether to feel relieved or frightened. On one hand, his employer didn't at all seem surprised (or concerned) with the attention the woman Irisviel was getting. On the other, his words were spoken with an air of finality, there could be no doubt as to their certainty: Mr. Emiya was sure he would never see her again.

With these rather sad reflections in mind, Friedrich began working on what could have been the most difficult assignment of his career.

* * *

**One Month Later**

By the stroke of four on the third Friday Iri had not spent with him and Ilya, Kiritsugu was done pretending her absence was not driving him nuts. He tried telling himself he didn't have the right to know everything she did - he didn't disclose every single one of his activities to her after all - but he discovered quickly how difficult it was not to be curious when he knew she was somewhere within the castle. What has she been working on these past three weeks? And why did she come to bed late almost every night?

"What do you say we go on an adventure around the Castle, Ilya?" he asked the toddler in front of him who was busy building towers with large Lego pieces. Kissing her downy head, he added, "Think you can help Daddy find out what Mommy's been up to?"

Upon hearing the word 'Mommy', the little girl looked around expectantly, and when she didn't find the lithe and supple form of her staunchest ally against nightmares, she turned towards Kiritsugu with outstretched arms.

"Mama," the baby Ilya called out.

"I know. I miss her too. C'mon, let's go find her."

He picked up the giggling baby from the floor and headed out.

He wandered aimlessly for a while, sometimes letting Illya down so she could run ahead of him. She'd stop at random corners looking at the most uninteresting things: a plant, a carpet, a vase. Several times, however, she stopped in front paintings. Some were of unfamiliar landscapes, others were of ancient members of the Einzbern Family, now long dead. But Illya stared at them one by one. Seriously, intently, as if she could remember them. When she chanced upon a portrait of Justeaze Lizreich von Einzbern, she squealed "Mama!" relieved to finally be able to give a name to such a familiar face.

"That's not your Mama, Princess," Kiritsugu corrected her with a shake of his head. The toddler looked at him, then at the painting, then looked at him again. "That's your Aunt Justeaze. She was a homunculus like your Mama."

"Omuncus?"

"Yes, a homunculus. And one day, your Mama will explain everything."

Illya stared at the painting a little more, then, apparently deciding that her father was right and that the picture was of no significance to her whatsoever, she sped down the gallery to inspect a knight's armor. Kiritsugu, on the other hand, studied Justeaze's face closer.

The resemblance was uncanny. As much as he'd like to say that his wife's beauty was unique, here was a testament to the contrary. Justeaze Von Einzbern looked exactly like Iri. They had the same face, the same narrow shoulders, the same frosty hair. Not by a single strand of an eyelash did they differ. Yet, something not quite physical set them apart.

Justeaze's eyes did not shine with wonder and curiosity like Iri's. Her thin lips did not curl slightly upward, hinting at a disposition that was as apathetic as Iri's was excitable and passionate. Justeaze's eyes were cold and her expression disinterested in whatever surrounded her the moment she was immortalized. Iri was her clone in all physical attrubutes, but Kiritsugu suspected that no two women could be more different in personality.

His wife was easily perfect one. With a perfunctory nod, he continued watching over Ilya.

They explored many rooms that day. Most had very little in them, but some held wonders. There was one filled with maps, maps of the ancient world where the Einzberns had mined their precious and peerless metals. There was one filled with musical instruments that were in pristine condition despite their age. There was another brimming with plants from floor to ceiling. Then, of course, there was the library, the ball room, the bath houses, several chapels, a throne room... The usual places you'd find in a castle. By the time they reached Irisviel's workshop in the West Wing, Illya was curled up in Kiristugu's arms deeply asleep.

"Iri? Are you in here?" he half-yelled, half-whispered as he opened the heavy metal doors.

"Kiritsugu? Is that you?" asked a dismembered voice from deep within. "Stay where you are. The mercury hasn't quite stabilized yet."

From the back of the room, Kiritsugu saw strings of light that could have been bolt lightning but for their unnatural grayish-bluish hue. He couldn't make out what they were for sure, but he was certain the alchemy at play here wasn't the same kind most members of the Einzbern family would use.

"Is Illya with you?" asked the still-dismembered voice distractedly.

"Yes, she is."

"Well, make sure she stays put. I mean, it's quite safe, but..."

There was a sound akin to a machine powering down and suddenly, the flashes of light were gone. The room reverted to its familiar luminescence. A few moments later, Irisviel emerged from behind a tall steel wall wearing Master robes with her hair pinned up into a slightly disheveled bun.

"You should have told me you were coming in today," she said, coming closer to give both of them a kiss.

"And give you enough time to hide whatever it is you're doing?" Kiritsugu countered. He kissed her back and smiled. "Absolutely not."

Irisviel shook her head at him, stroking their daughters back. "Oh, look at her. She's exhausted. Were you wandering about the castle all day?"

"Well, not the whole day," Kiritsugu replied, his own features softening to match the loving expression in Iri's. "But we did go into several rooms before we came here."

"And what did you find?"

"Not much, to be perfectly honest. I mean, how can a castle have so many rooms and yet neither a dojo or a shooting range?"

"We're not exactly a very combat-oriented family," she replied laughing and taking his free hand to lead him to where she just emerged moments before.

"How'd you train your soldiers, then? Out there in the snow? I suppose that's possible. You can just make some kind of potion that would make them... freeze-proof."

"HAHA. Very funny." She rolled her eyes at him. "Actually, there was a time when we had garrisons. It didn't used to be so cold and the land used to be arable. But then, Justeaze Von Einzbern was created and well... She sealed off the entire mountain and changed the weather. They called her the "Saint of Winter". After that, there was no need for soldiers. People just stopped attacking."

"You mean, this entire arrangement came about because your beloved ancestor wanted cut corners? In case she didn't notice, the place isn't anymore cost efficient."

"No... In hindsight, it might have been too much. But, the family likes the isolation."

"Your isolation made you all ill-equipped to face the outside world," Kiritsugu pointed out, raising his eyebrows at her.

Irisviel sighed. "Well, I can't deny that. Although, I'm hoping these might even the odds."

She stopped in front of a rather long table laden with what looked like ten very fine strings. At first glance, they looked like very long strands of silver hair. Closer inspection, however, revealed that they were, in fact, made completely out of mercury .

"What are they?" Kiritsugu asked, stretching out one hand to touch one strand, while keeping the other firmly around Ilya's legs.

"They're my version of a weapon," Irisviel answered with slight trepidation. "What do you think?

He walked the length of the table and said nothing. His mind could not understand how something so fragile could possibly stand a chance against a battle as intense as the one he was expecting to happen in Fuyuki. These were too much like Iri: clean, graceful, and perfect for bringing forth life. Could they endure relentless attacks?

"Is it safe to show me how they work with Ilya here?" he asked trying not to let his doubts bleed into his voice.

"I think I have the calculations right, but... I'd rather not risk it. You see that table over there?" Kiritsugu's gaze followed the direction of Irisviel's finger where a table was sliced cleanly in irregular pieces. "That's what happened the last time I lost control of the wires."

"Have they ever hurt you?"

He knew, of course, that they have. Irisviel was a mage through and through, after all. Such risks were only normal in her line of work. Nevertheless, the fearfully protective husband in him wished she wouldn't expose herself to such dangers - even if they were necessary.

"Yes," Irisviel answered with a nod. "But not irreparably, as you can see."

He took a few moments to consider it.

He didn't doubt the abilities of his wife. He knew that when it came to alchemy, she was unparalleled. She had Magic Circuits even his father could not imagine. But, alchemy wasn't the kind of magic used to defend or attack enemies. It was meant for creation and poison, not full-frontal battle. Nevertheless, he had to see what his wife has accomplished.

"Let me just get Ilya down and then, you can show me."

It was half-past seven when they entered the Einzbern Testing Room located further within the curious recesses of the West Wing. Did it say something about him that of all the rooms he visited today, this was the one that felt most familiar to him? It was freezing cold in the testing room and instead of the smooth walls that separated the castle into large compartments, it was enclosed by rough stone. It also smelled strongly of cleaning agent... As if something had just recently bled in there and someone had meticulously cleaned the spillage using chemicals. To Kiritsugu, it felt like he was in the old days. If only he could have a real cigarette...

"Where do you want me?" He heard Irisviel ask. And immediately he was transported back to the present, all too aware of how long he has been deprived of his wife's company.

"At the other end of the room, about six feet from the wall," he replied.

He watched his wife's full figure walk gracefully to where he directed and realized for the nth time (and definitely not the last) how thankful he was that he was the only man in her life. There was absolutely no chance in hell that other men would not kill for just one glance from her. Friedrich the cable guy was a prime example. It was a good thing that Kiritsugu felt secure in his wife's love. Had it been otherwise, the smallest gesture to another would incite terrible jealousy in him.

He was never not aware of her. Every fiber in his body prickled when she was around. Even with his back to her, he could tell if she was smiling, or frowning, if she was standing still or holding something in her hand. What he felt ran deeper than desire... Desire was fiery and raw and it fades into nothing when its object is absent. This was peaceful and calm - as if her essence stirred something from deep within him, making him feel more alive and whole than he ever had in the last ten years.

"My love? Are you alright?" Irisviel asked, noting his distraction.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, yes. I was just... Thinking..." Kiritsugu answered sheepishly.

"You looked quite serious. Is it anything I can help you with?"

"You've already helped by being here."

It was a cryptic answer that brought furrows to her forehead. But, she wanted to show him something and the moment didn't seem ripe for heartfelt confessions. So, he laughed it off and asked her to proceed her demonstration.

"Well," she began hesitantly. "We both know alchemy is not the kind of magecraft best-suited for battles. It's closer to chemistry than anything and while it's useful for building, defending and poisoning, it's hardly useful if one wants to attack. Then again, the kind of alchemy we Einzberns have developed is capable of infusing life not only to creations with a biological base but also those that are made of metal. So, I thought... Maybe it's possible to create something so attuned to my mind that it can attack without my having to verbally or physically command it."

"So, you want to create a machine that operates like a drone?" he asked, piecing her plan together.

"Precisely, but instead of the usual drone, I thought that perhaps it should be able to change its shape according to the needs of the weilder."

"I can see how that could work. Can you show me?"

Irisviel closed her eyes and immediately, the strings glowed an electric blue. They followed every movement of her fingers, spreading and lashing as quickly as his wife gave internal commands. They were graceful, beautiful and deceptively delicate. With a flick of her wrist, it sliced the vases to her left into a even little pieces. So fine-tuned and responsive a weapon could make even the least harmful person deadly. Then, she uttered a spell in High German and the strings came together to form a hawk. The next moment, it was airborne. It looked almost real, except that it had neither flesh nor feathers. Its glow betrayed that it was made of metal. Its perfection cemented its being completely unnatural. The Einzberns truly had an uncanny gift at playing God.

"It looks good," he commented. "But, it'd have to be able to do more than just slicing or giving a pretty lights show. Have you ever tested its speed and maneuverability?"

"I've just managed to get it off the ground, actually. It was a bit of a challenge keeping the mercury together. I had to make several adjustments in order to minimize the use of prana. After all, it would be impractical to make it invulnerable at the expense of the wielder's focus."

He nodded. Her understanding of attack and defense was impressive. He held out his arm and the creature landed on it. It observed him with blank eyes, though he knew that any movement was controlled by Iri. "Can you see anything it sees?" he asked, watching the hawk mimic the movement of his head.

"No," she replied as she came closer. "I can't make it work the same way as a familiar. Familiars are configured differently. I'd have to give it some remote-sensing capacity, work on its optics as well as create a processing system I can tap into without completely losing focus on my immediate surroundings..."

He loved that her mind was already on the modifications. She didn't speak much of her knowledge about the alchemy and it often surprised him how detailed she can get.

"...perhaps if I switched to gold instead of mercury? No, it would be too unruly..." she prattled on, getting lost in her world of chemicals and incantations.

"Iri," he interjected gently. She didn't seem to notice. "Iri!" he repeated a little forcefully.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I got a bit carried away. What is it?" she smiled apologetically

"Don't mind what I said," he replied, letting the bird fly away again. "I don't need new familiars. Maiya already has them. Why don't we work with what you have?"

She sighed and then smiled. "Alright. I suppose we'll need to set another date for the gun test. Do you think we should purchase new ones or are the ones here in the castle enough?

"You mean those artifacts I found in your 'weapons' room? They belong to a museum, my love. We'll have Maiya send over new ones."

"Fair enough," she disassembled the hawk and coiled the mercury strings into neat circles. She beamed at him with sparkling eyes. "I'm so excited! We're finally doing some preparations together!"

"Don't be like that," he replied, taking her hand and leading her out of the room. "You'll be just as involved in planning our strategy as I will be. I just... don't want to start yet."

"I'm afraid the family will not approve, Master Emiya," she replied in a rather good imitation of Elder Olga's voice. "The Grail should be your foremost concern."

He laughed at this then pulled her in for a kiss. "Well, I think," he said as he broke from her lips. "The family can just screw themselves." She pushed him away in mock rebuke as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, stop it. You know the work will catch up with us eventually."

"I know, but I have a very limited time with you and I don't intend to spend it all on talking about strategy."

* * *

**The Thursday After**

There was tension at the table as the clock on the mantle piece ticked away to quarter past seven. Every fourth Thursday of the month, the entire Einzbern Family gathered at the Great Hall to dine together in frosty silence broken only by soft murmurs. Kiritsugu, being married to Irisviel, had the peculiar and unpleasant honor of being invited to this dinner. Always, he had entered with Iri. Always, he just sat there and interacted with no one unless he was asked. He stuck out from this group like a sore thumb - clad in black instead of white. He knew his presence made them uncomfortable but he would still be invited anyway because he was technically family. If he were completely honest with himself, he would admit that he only came because it got the family all riled up.

And right now, they were REALLY riled up.

"Master Emiya, where is Irisviel?" the Lord Father asked from the head of the table with his eyes narrowed in displeasure. To his right, his consort, the Elder Olga, tapped her fingers impatiently on the table.

"I wasn't with her all day, Lord Father. But, she said she will be late for dinner tonight," he answered coolly.

"Very well, then, I see no reason to wait still," Acht raised his hand to signal the servants when his consort objected.

"No. We will wait for her. She must be made to see her actions are ungrateful and out of place. She seems to have forgotten the rules in this household, then," replied Lady Olga. "And maybe even her place in this family. She is merely a homunculus. She mustn't - "

Her increasingly hostile diatribe was cut off by the opening of the heavy double doors and the sound of Irisiviel's footsteps on the marble floor. A collective gasp rose from the table and Kiritsugu's face broke into a proud smile.

"Forgive me for being late, Lord Father, Elder Olga," Irisviel apologized, curtsying briefly to her superiors before fluttering through shocked and jealous stares. "The dressmaker was rather slow in making certain alterations." Nobody reacted to what she said, which seemed to give her pleasure. They all just gaped at her. And for good reason too. Even he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

The only thing that would merit the approval of the Elders were the colors she wore: white and gold which matched with all of them. The rest of her gown was a complete deviation from tradition. It looked as if it would be more at home in the mild summer temperatures of Greece than it ever will here in the frigid mountains of Germany. It showed far too much of her alabaster skin. It hugged her perfect curves in all the right places and it flowed around her ankles, making it all the more glaring to everyone present that she was easily the goddess in this room in spite of her being "merely a homunculus".

"Child," Acht acknowledged her in constricted tones. "What on earth are you wearing?"

"Well," Irisviel began as she took her place beside Kiritsugu. "I thought since the castle is getting upgrades, it would only be fitting to try something new." She gave him a sly smile as she felt his hand rest on her knee reassuringly. Acht cleared his throat.

"It is not commonplace to flaunt one's body at dinner - "

"It is vulgar!" exclaimed Elder Olga. "Have you taken leave of your senses, homunculus? What made you think you deserved to make us wait? And then, you appear before us dressed in this... patchwork! You should be ashamed."

"Forgive me, Elder, but I fail to see why," Irisiviel answered wryly. "There was no need for you to wait for me. No doubt my husband informed you I will be late and as you have constantly reminded me that I am nothing but a tool, I imagined you wouldn't even notice I was gone. As for my choice of clothing, I don't think it is anymore vulgar than having TV screens installed in some of the rooms and cars parked in the unused cellars. It's simply part of the modern world which our family must adapt to or die. Besides, being a homunculus, it isn't like none of you haven't seen my body before. In fact, I think you've all seen me naked."

This kind of reply has never been heard in these halls before. That much was obvious. The younger Einzberns were severely dissatisfied with their uncelebrated status in the family but they have never spoken out of turn - whether because of fear or complacency, Kiritsugu didn't know. And now, here was his sweet, gentle, well-mannered wife shining in glorious arrogance and astounding awareness of her beauty. It was an even greater shock to them than her clothing.

"How dare you - " Elder Olga roiled, slowly rising from her chair.

"Enough." Acht silenced her. He signaled for the servants to begin serving dinner. "Clearly, the child has learned a great deal from her tutor. We cannot undo what she has learned. Master Emiya, I hope you remember to teach my creation only that which will not cause trouble in my family."

"My wife is fully capable of deciding for herself, Lord Father. I had nothing to do with this," he squeezed her knee and was rewarded by a hand laid above his own.

"I think it's refreshing," declared Master Liebwin, the plant alchemist fondest of Irisviel. Irisviel bowed her head to him and the rest breathed in relief. They could always count on good Master Liebwin to alleviate any kind of tension and he had status enough for others to feel safe in joining his conversation. "We should make small changes the same way the elements we handle change."

"Yes, why shouldn't we?" concurred a younger master who had a mouth slightly wider than the Einzbern make. "I wouldn't mind having new contraptions in the castle. Especially those that would make it easier to communicate what one wants from the servants."

"I wouldn't mind having one of those television sets. If we can find a way to make it work with our methods, it might make studying the smallest parts of my insects easier. Although, the contraption seems completely grotesque," declared one.

"I'm quite fascinated by that car. A creature with the same speed would give it a run for its money," declared another.

And so, it was that the Great Hall was finally filled with chatter among magi who would not normally talk with each other. From her perch beside Acht, Lady Olga seethed though her ire was made impotent by the silence of her consort who ignored most of the chatter. Acht was ancient enough and wise enough to know that this fascination with technology was but a passing fancy. They were attracted to the new the same way magpies were attracted to shiny things.

"I think you might have done your family a favor," Kiritsugu said to her as the appetizers were served and they were accorded the privacy of dinner conversations all around. "This is the first time I've ever heard your family talk to each other."

"That wasn't my intention, but, if it makes family dinners more interesting, I'm not complaining," her attention was claimed by the female apprentice beside her who was far too interested in the workings of her womb. Iri, being an expert at making polite rebuffs, told her in the vaguest of ways how it functioned. She was the Lord Father's creation and her secret mechanisms cannot be revealed by anyone except the Lord Father alone. This young apprentice, however, was overeager, taking her for a fool just because she was of a lower kind.

"But, how does it sustain life? What material is it made of?" the apprentice pressed on, clearly unable to take a hint. "You can tell me! I'm not planning to create someone like you. I just need to know."

"The Lord Father will be able to explain this better. Perhaps, you should consider apprenticing with him," Irisviel soothed, the gentle smile remaining on her lips. It took the power of insulting away from her words. It seemed as if she truly knew nothing about how this ambitious young woman's application has been rejected thrice now by Acht when in fact, she knew how hard the apprentice tried. In this way, Irisviel knew she was superior: Acht encouraged her to explore as much of Justeaze's knowledge as possible if only to feed his vanity. Nothing was more effective in shutting up an Einzbern than wounding their pride.

Kiritsugu watched the progress of this conversation and several others with inconspicuous eyes. Most drawled, but there were some that were more animated. He didn't expect them to be making jokes and laughing soon, but he had to admit it was amusing to watch frosty individuals talk to each other. The master to his left asked him questions and he answered them - albeit disinterestedly - being just a little bit more candid as a tribute to his wife's efforts. All in all, it wasn't too bad of an evening.

"I don't remember your going to your dressmaker for that dress," he said later as they readied themselves for bed. It tugged just a little bit at his heartstrings that they appeared more domestic in this moment than they ever had: just a husband and wife dressing down after a fancy night out. They'd even checked on Illya before they went to their chambers.

"That's because you're always out the door - Can you help me with the clasp, my love? - before I even get to say anything about it. It's like you have this sixth sense when it comes to getting new clothes."

He stood behind her where she stood in front of a mirror and rested his hands on her waist. Their eyes met in the reflection.

"Do you like it?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"You look exquisite," he answered with a kiss on her shoulder. "Which is why Elder Olga can't stand you. You'll be forever young while she's forever wrinkled and gray."

Her reflection laughed and then she turned to face him, placing her arms on his shoulders, her hands behind his neck. "I don't really care what she thinks," she declared quietly. In the darkness of the room, her ruby eyes glinted delicately, pulling him into their wonderful depths. He rested his forehead against hers.

"I love it ," he whispered. He smoothed his hands over the soft material of her skirt. "But, where on earth did you get this design?"

"The internet," she answered breaking from him so the cloth was barely a kiss on his fingers. "It's a wonderful place to discover new things."

He shook his head at her and then proceeded to undress. "Has Illya seen you in it?"

"Yes," she answered, her voice muffled by the silk sleeping gown she pulled over her head. "She's the reason I was late. When she saw the gown, she loved it so much she just lay down on it and refused to let go."

He moved to the bed and pulled back the covers. "I didn't think girls that young could appreciate fashion already."

"You should have seen the way her eyes lit up," she said as she joined him on the bed. "But, I don't think she's interested in the design. She just likes the fabric. I had a difficult time moving about the room because she kept on chasing after my hemline and then catching it like it was some kind of puppy."

"And, of course, you ran around and let her chase you."

"What else was a mother supposed to do?"

Irisviel snuggled closer to him, her head resting on his shoulder like a pillow as his arm wrapped around her. He lay contentedly on his back with his free hand under his head. He didn't know when this became the norm between them, but he found himself slowly realizing how used to her he had become. The only one missing now was Illya, but she was too small not to get crushed between them. He sighed.

"Don't," he heard her say warningly. He smiled. How does she do that?

"Don't what?" he asked unable to keep the amusement in his voice.

"You're doing it again, sinking into your world of despair. I can feel it, you know. I can always tell."

"I'm sorry." He adjusted their position so she was nestled deeper into him. "I'll stop myself now and go to sleep before I ruin your triumphant evening."

"I think it was more of a triumphant month for both of us. We've made progress here," she reached up to his face and kissed him. "Let's just live in the moment. Good night, my love."

"Sweet dreams," he hugged her closer to him. "Oh, and Iri?"

"Hmmm?"

"You were amazing."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

1\. I'm sorry. It seems I wasn't very particular with the gown I had in mind. For those who are curious to what this would look like, I was thinking more along the lines of the gown Taylor Swift wore in the 55th Grammy's. I could honestly picture Irisviel wearing it. Anyone out there who can do a decent fan art? :D

2\. I know it seems odd for Kiritsugu to be sweet like this, but I'd like to think he was perfect and loving in the nine years they were together. I don't believe he can stay distant and cold because in my mind, he's just completely in love with her. If you're not comfortable with a Kiritsugu who's more human and less depressed than usual, I suggest you stop reading here because I'm not letting up. I've always wanted them to have a bit of happiness since we all know how the story is going to end.

3\. I would love to hear from you guys, so please feel free to write reviews. Let me know what you think about the way I characterized Irisviel and Kiritsugu. I'm trying to stay as faithful to canon as possible, but I might be failing. :)


	5. Chapter 4: Driving Lessons

"Now, press down gently on the gas and turn the wheel slightly to the right. Don't go fa-" Kiritsugu was cut off abruptly as Iri made a stomach-lurching turn across the courtyard.

They were having driving lessons today - part of his plan to educate her about the outside world - and so far, it wasn't going the way he thought it would. He knew Iri would be an enthusiastic student, but he did not expect her to be such a reckless driver once introduced to speed. In the first hour alone, she has managed to bring them to closer-than-decent collisions about five times - six counting this most recent one.

His wife stepped on the breaks just before they hit the wall at the far end.

"Iri..." he exhaled. "You don't always have to go so fast."

"But I like going fast. I've never been able to do that with alchemy. It's like using your Time Alter!" she beamed excitedly.

"It is... somewhat. But I'm not driving a heavy metal vehicle when I use the Time Alter. I don't risk hitting something or someone accidentally. And I can control what my body will be doing. You don't have that much command over a car. The car will follow the Laws of Physics."

"Well, that's no fun at all. What's the point of driving if I'll be stuck at normal speeds anyway?"

"It gets you to places faster."

"So, a car isn't meant for pleasure at all?"

"It can be. But you'll have to learn how to drive safely first. Besides, you haven't even learned when to change gears."

Irisviel huffed in frustration. She was usually a very patient woman - almost saintly in the way she can bear with just about any human antic possible - but now it seems she was prey to the same shortness of temper he was when it comes to getting results. Kiritsugu soothed her with a smile and a hand on her knee

"Why don't we start slow this time? Let's turn off the car..." He instructed.

She killed the engines.

"And start from the top. You have three pedals at your feet and they are?"

"The clutch, the break and the gas"

"And what are they for?"

"The clutch is for changing gears, the break is for stopping and the gas is for moving."

"Right. And this," he said indicating the stirring wheel. "You have for..."

"Changing tire directions and the hand break for parking."

"Good. You remember the basic parts."

And they went on like this for another hour, Kiritsugu drilling his ever-eager wife with even the smallest details of basic driving. When he was satisfied that she grasped everything - at least in theory - he let her start the engine again.

"Now, remember. DON'T. GO. FAST. At least, until I tell you."

She might be reckless but she was quick to learn. It took minimal effort for him to teach her about the gears and the proper signalling. Her legendary tranquility kicked in about thirty minutes into the drive and they were soon able to make liesurely circles around the castle grounds.

He spent most of the time watching her - her arms and legs at times to make sure she was properly relaxed - but mostly her face. She has this adorable habit of alternating between pursing her lips and blowing up her cheeks when concentrating. He'd point it out if only he wasn't afraid she'd stop doing it.

"Don't people usually talk when they're driving?" Irisviel asked distractedly.

"They do. I did several times when I was at Cornwall."

"So, why aren't we talking now?"

She turned to look at him, giving him her full attention and almost ran over winter rose bushes. The unsuspecting bushes were saved only by virtue of Kiritsugu grabbing the wheel in time.

"Because of that," he answered inclining his head to indicate the close shave. "You're not used to this yet. And I know how fascinating you find my conversation."

He saw a small smile creep upon her lips.

"I would hit you, but I can't take my hands off the wheel."

"Thank God for that."

They've reached the courtyard again and this time, instead of rounding another corner, Irisviel parked the car in front of the grand double doors and killed the engine.

"Had your fill of driving?" he asked her sincerely.

She nodded.

"I think I'd like to walk now."

She was going into one of her reflective moods. He knew because the excited, wide-eyed look her eyes had was replaced by a dreamy haze. She'd want him to be there.

They got out of the car and headed for one of the paths leading outside the castle walls. It wasn't very cold, but everything was covered in a blanket of white snow, making everything look like it came straight out of a postcard. Kiritsugu wrapped one arm around Irisviel's shoulders and kissed her hair. He felt her arms find their way around his waist.

Soft arms. Strong arms.

"We still have a lot of time," he assured her, not feeling very steady, but giving her something to hold on to. She didn't often have episodes like this. She only had them when there were moments she knew she would regret not having more of... Like ordinary days spent driving around town with him.

_You'll_ _cause_ _this._ _Your_ _dream_ _will_ _cause_ _this._

His arm tightened around her.

_But_ _this_ _is_ _her_ _dream_ _too._ _She_ _chose_ _this._ _She_ _can_ _just_ _walk_ _away._

"I'm sorry," she murmured in a voice so small it made him kiss her forehead in anguish.

"It isn't your fault, Iri," he whispered against her skin.

"I shouldn't be indulging myself like this. It only makes you feel worse, which you shouldn't."

"But it's because of my dream that we won't have more of this," he said brokenly. They were back in that conversation again, when she was persuading him that it was alright to love. They were seated at the study, he the instructor, she the student. He had been educating her about self-worth, getting even more frustrated that she couldn't understand...

Until she turned the tables on him and started speaking of love, how it's only because we love that we fight for anything at all. He didn't want to believe her then. He went to lengths just to prove to her that love only made people weak. But the more he tried, the more he was drawn to her. In no time, he realized he had fallen for her, understanding with perfect clarity what lovers meant when they lost their heart to someone.

So much progress had been made since that day but he kept backsliding. Whenever he tried to be just happy with what he has, the chains of his past kept pulling him back. He tries to live in the present, yet the lingering doom of his beloved wife kept pushing him even further. In time, he knew there would be no way out of it.

"Your dream is a great one, my love. You dream of a better world. I believe something as beautiful as that is worth the sacrifice. I'm sorry I made you think otherwise."

"You didn't. It's... been in my head constantly."

She frowned a moment while thinking about his confession. Then, she entwined her fingers with his and led him forward.

"Let us make a deal. Do you see that lamp post over there? If you decide to talk about this, you have exactly until we get to that it before I start correcting the many errors you will be making in your reasoning. So, you better try to make as much sense to me as possible.

She stopped to face him.

"Now, IF you decide to change the subject, you have exactly until that same lamp post to make up your mind whether to keep avoiding it or not."

She looked at him pointedly, one perfectly-arched eyebrow raised in womanly authority.

"So, what shall it be, husband?"

It was a tough decision to make. The lamp post was still a bit of a way off, so he knew there will be time. Yet, if they talk about it now, he will have to go over every single fear and nightmare he has about the War.

He was going to lose her. The cruel inevitability of it preyed at both their thoughts every waking moment. But where she could live completely in the present, preparing herself for the sacrifice little by little along the way, he found it harder and harder to hold on to his dream.

"How can you even love me, Iri?" he began, his voice a hoarse whisper. She grabbed onto his arm and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm prepared to sacrifice you... The woman I love, the one person left in the world I owe my life to. I gave you the chance to walk away from this before, but I won't even consider forgetting about everything now, when we both have so much to lose. And yet..." He laughed bitterly.

"And yet, I fight with myself everyday. I got so used to loss, Iri, I forgot what it's like to have someone. I made choices that meant ending another person's life. I sold the freedom of others believing that I could give it to those who deserved it more. I did what I had to do. But having you... loving you... makes everything - my dreams, my sins - seem so small.

He felt her lift her head lift from his shoulder and knew she was doing her best not to embrace him. He needed this. He needed to say it all before he broke down and if she pulled him in now, he would.

"I wish I could take it all back, Iri. I wish I could be anyone other than the monster that I am. And I'm the worst there is. How can I not be? I love you and Ilya more than anything else in the world... but I won't save you. Instead, I will cause you pain. I will cause you heartache and I will ask for your sacrifice all because of my dream. Is there any one worse than me?

Tyrants? Murderers? Pedophiles? Rapists? All these people sacrifice the lives of others without feeling love or remorse, but they do so without having sworn to protect their victims. They do so without taking their love. I knew from the very beginning that I was going to cause your death and still I had the cruelty to take the heart you offered me. What does that make me? WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME?!"

He was at the edge of his sanity now, half-crying, half-laughing at the irony of his entire existence. He could choose to retreat into his facade now. She wouldn't hold it against him. But her desperately clung to the last remaining shreds of his strength because he owed this to her, because she deserved so much more and this is all he could offer: anger, vengeance, hatred, remorse and honesty. Above all, honesty.

They've arrived at the lamp post now. Irisviel stood in front of him, not touching him but staying close enough for an embrace. Taking huge gulps of breath to steady himself, he managed one more question before fully breaking down.

"Why am I doing this, Iri?," he murmured into his hands.

He heard snow crunching and a coat rustling, then he was enveloped by the delicate smell of freesia and jasmine.

* * *

She didn't know how long they stood like that - he shaking in her arms, she trying to hold him to her with every ounce of strength she had - but it was long enough to soothe him into pained tranquility. She'd been aching to embrace him ever since he started speaking of his sins, but she knew it would only break him faster. Now, she knew how much he needed it.

"My love," she crooned into his ear. "Darling, look at me."

She gently pushed him away, uncovering his face with her own hands. Looking into his dark gray eyes, she gave him the smile she wore on their wedding day.

"Thank you," she whispered. She kissed him softly on the lips. It didn't have the passion their kisses usual came with, but his lips pulled at hers as if he'd been away for weeks and that was a good sign he was recovering.

"Shall I scold you now?," she asked lightly. This drew a small, dull laugh from him, but he nodded. She took his face in her hands.

"You asked me how I can ever love you," she began quietly. "And my answer is how can I not?

You gave me the life I never could have ever dreamed of. You taught me how to fight, how to feel, how to love. You coached me with patience. You treated me with kindness when others would have cast me aside. From the very beginning, you've gone out of your way to make sure I saw my worth. Do you think I don't know the status ascribed to homunculi? We are less than human in the eyes of people. We are nothing more than magical circuits given a body. But you never saw me as such. You saw me as a person... to be loved and cherished just like any other human being."

She laid one hand on his cheek and the other over his heart.

"You speak as if you're the only one saved but don't you see, my love? You saved me too. In sharing your knowledge, you built me a world. In giving your heart, you gave me a purpose. How can I not love such a man? How can such a man be a monster?

Yes, you accepted my heart despite knowing you will cause my death, and yes, you will be asking for my sacrifice when the time comes, but you forget that I loved you knowing exactly who you are. I entered into this relationship harboring no illusions. You have nothing to regret or apologize for."

She paused to see the effects of her words on him and found him looking at her with wonder...

_Heart_ _rate_ _steady._ She noted.

_Breathing slowed down._ _Arms_ _relaxed._ _Good,_ _he_ _was_ _responding._

"Iri..." he whispered softly. She put a finger over his lips to signal that she wasn't done yet.

"My love, I know this is difficult for you. With everything you have gone through, I can only imagine how horrible this must be. But being the Vessel is what I was made for. It's my original purpose. I am only too happy and honored that I get the chance to offer my life for a dream as noble, selfless and true as yours."

She did not mean this last statement. In truth, she knew nothing of the world he was trying to save except those he taught her. And since she was confined safely within the walls of Castle Einzbern, she would never get the chance to see it until the Grail War begins.

But the past two years of their young marriage showed her how tortuous their situation was to Kiritsugu. Not once before today has he ever spoken of his fear and guilt, but now that he had, she realized she will have to make him believe she understood his dream enough to make it her own. It was the only way to keep him going, to prevent more episodes like this.

"You've always been so slow in grasping it, darling," she said with a laugh. "But your dream is my dream too."

The bewilderment in his face was almost comical. She felt his chest stop in its rhythmic rise and fall and worried for a moment that he might have suffered a mild stroke. Yet, his features relaxed along with the rest of his body. She saw relief and worshipful gratefulness flood into his eyes.

"Iri..." he breathed. "I don't deserve you."

"Perhaps," she replied candidly. "I deserve a kiss, though, don't you think?"

He was weak from the revelation, but his mouth betrayed his hunger. He was both unapologetic and adoring, ravenous and gentle. He kissed her the way only he knew how, anticipating all her little habits and answering her subtle demands.

She smiled against his lips. This... THIS was the Kiritsugu she fell in love with.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he folded her tightly into him, revelling in his affections and overjoyed that she could still make him happy.


	6. Chapter 5: Dancing

**Chapter 5: Dancing**

_He was in a dark corridor trying to make sense of something... a death. Someone's death. A mage._

_Something happened here that wasn't supposed to, he thought to himself. There was a grand plan... but an associate - the associate - of this dead man turned on him before the plan was accomplished._

_He walked stealthily down the corridors, guns loaded, senses alert and mind working in hyper-drive. He tried to find any sign that there was someone there with him, but there was nothing... He knew there was nothing. Yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched._

You shouldn't be here_, reproached his conscience. _You should be at the safe house with your wife. You shouldn't be here.

_The moment his phone rang, he knew something had gone terribly wrong. He picked up and heard_ _Maiya_ _speaking weakly. He couldn't make out her words, but in the background her heard a crash, then..._

_Irisviel's agonized scream froze his blood._

No. No! It was too early. There were still too many players. They couldn't have...

_But the commotion on the other line told him the truth. Someone had been hunting Irisviel down and in his singular determination to win, he had forgotten she was the decoy._

You should have been watching out for her. You knew they would be hunting her.

_He looked at his hand._

Command Spell. I can still save her.

_He commanded his Servant to return to the warehouse to protect his wife or find her if it came to it. All that was left of his deteriorating focus vanished into the cold, unforgiving air._ _He must have broken all the street laws that night, pushing the car to its limit - but it didn't matter. If he didn't get to to her in time, none of this would matter._

Please_, he begged._ Please... don't take her. I'm begging you. Don't take my wife. Not like this.

_The spiraling grief had returned with a vengeance, overpowering any resolve he had. He had no idea who could be responsible for this, but the thoroughness of this enemy's search indicated that she would receive no mercy in their hands._

You're going to lose her, Kiritsugu, _laughed a malevolent voice in his head._ And she'll go through so much pain before she dies. Sacrifice, you say? Well, how's this for sacrifice?

_He tried to shut the voice out to no avail. This was his fault. All of it. He should've made greater effort to secure her safety, even if it was just for a little while longer._

You should also have given her a proper farewell.

_His heart beat frantically inside his chest as the ruins of the house greeted him in sheer malevolence. He got out of the car and ran to_ _Iri's_ _shelter._

_There was barely anything left of the concrete wall. And of the circle that kept_ _Iri_ _conscious, there were only a few broken smudges left._

_He walked over to where_ _Maiya_ _lay dying, tasting ashes in his mouth and feeling his world tear into shreds. She said something, but he couldn't hear. She touched his cheek, but he couldn't feel. Tears streamed down his cheeks without him noticing. All there was was the agony of losing the ones he loved and realizing that like everything else, he was to blame._

_Then, there was a flash and he saw_ _Iri_ _laying in a circle similar to the one on the floor. She was weak. Very weak. And over her stood the shadow of a faceless man._

_The man was half-crazed, demanding to know what he wanted with the Grail._ _Iri_ _answered him, but still he kept yelling at her as if his anger could change the truth of what she was saying. Then he started strangling her._

IRI!_ he wanted to yell, but the sound got stuck in his throat. He can't speak. Drowning in his own despair and grief, he became mute._ IRI!

_He started running to them, guns blazing, tears falling down his face. He ran and kept on running until his legs felt like they were on fire, but they got no nearer._

_She was fading now. He could see the life drain from her body. Then, she was gone. The faceless man discarded her like a doll._

IRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Kiritsugu woke with a jolt in their bed at Castle Einzbern. 2.30AM. He ran a hand over his face. Nightmares about his life were frequent. He never got used to them, but in time, he learned to shake them off the moment he woke up. Nightmares about losing Irisviel, though...

These nightmares came very rarely, but they increased in intensity each time. And with each second bringing them closer to the War, he knew they would only get worse.

_It was a dream,_ he reminded himself. _It was a dream, nothing more._

Breathing hard, he rolled over to put his arms around his wife to calm himself and assure his agitated mind that she was still there. Only she wasn't. He knew it the moment he shifted his weight and felt the other half of the bed move lightly.

Panic and fear seized him. If he was more than half awake, he would have realized that it was impossible for him to be staying in Castle Einzbern if things don't go according to plan, but his mind was addled with sleep and the sheer vividness of the dream made the terror and despair seem real.

He tore from the room like a violent hurricane, opening every single door along his path and shouting her name. It doesn't matter who heard. If it woke the house, all the better. He was about to rush over to the West Wing to wake Acht when he came across the double doors that led to the unused Grand Ballroom. They were slightly open... and from the inside, he could hear his wife's voice singing.

His knees almost buckled with relief.

_Get a grip on yourself, Kiritsugu. She's here. You were only dreaming. Like always._

He went to the doors fully intending to take her back to their chambers with him, but the vision that greeted him made him realize that he didn't want to.

Irisviel was dancing. SHE. WAS. DANCING.

He'd never seen her do this before and it surprised him how beautifully graceful she was... as if she'd been taught and had been dancing for years. Her arms were extended like they were resting on a partner, one hand on a would-be shoulder, the other on an imaginary hand. She turned and turned across the room, picking her way intuitively between other dancing couples.

Eyes closed. A soft smile on her face... And the moonlight hitting her perfectly in alternating turns, lending a tragically beautiful and melancholy air to an otherwise charming picture. It was like watching an angel dancing in complete and heart-felt worship. Irisviel looked so pure, so peaceful, so distant it felt almost as if he was tainting the moment just by being there.

_Don't stop, my love,_ he prayed, closing his eyes and resting his head on the cool glass of the door. _Let me have this. One memory of you untainted by what we'll have to go through._

He stayed like that for quite a while, just letting her voice wash over him, calming his mind and turning his nightmare into a mere shade. Here was his peace. Here was his happiness... his life. Within the proximity of her gently coaxing light, all of his fears seemed to dissipate, leaving only that all-consuming love that pervaded his every waking moment. Her hand over his heart recalled him to his surroundings. Red eyes greeted gray ones affectionately, though the slight crease on her forehead told him she sensed his troubled mind.

"What are you doing here in the shadows, my love?," Irisviel said with a soothing smile, her head tilted adorably to the side. It was impossible to lie.

"I woke up to an empty bed, Iri. I panicked. I thought..." he trailed off.

"Another nightmare?" she asked, pulling him into the ballroom completely. The sense of lightness that pervaded the atmosphere just a few moments ago was gone, making Kiritsugu wish he could've cut out his tongue before being able to say anything. He ruined one of these rare moments before. Now, it seems he was doing it again.

"If you are thinking that you will get out of this discussion - "

"I'm not trying to get out of it. Believe me when I say it really is nothing. You know I've had nightmares before. This wasn't as bad as most," he gave her a slight smile that he hoped was reassuring.

"What was it about, then?" she asked gently.

"Something about our future."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand to stop her.

"Let me finish. I know the fear is unfounded, but you cannot stop me from having them, Iri. I will lose you and as we get closer to that day, these nightmares will only get worse. For tonight, however, the worst has passed." He held her scrutinizing gaze to prove he was telling the truth. She sighed.

"Oh, alright. I will let this go. Although, I still wonder why you lurked at the doorway when you know you are always welcome to interrupt me."

"I didn't want to interrupt you," he said, smiling down at her and locking his fingers at the small of her back. "I discovered I love watching you dance. Where did you learn to waltz like that?"

"Justeaze von Einzbern. It seems she was quite the graceful dancer when she was alive. I never would have thought of it... She being the Archmagus and all. But I suppose, we all have our little quirks. Besides, times were different, then."

A hush fell over them as they both gazed at each other. She bit her lower lip to keep from smiling widely and for quite possibly the hundredth time in their young marriage, he found himself staggered by his wife's unassuming, yet completely ethereal beauty. He'd always thought she looked perfect, a strikingly silver sliver of moonlight in an expanse of clouded darkness. He lost count of the number of times he studied her face, mostly when she was asleep beside him, but never quite as openly as this.

Up close and intimate, Kiritsugu rejoiced that he was the only man in the world who would be able to call this perfection his. So, he let his eyes drink their fill of her, memorizing each eyelash, each blush. In those features he saw the testament to Einzbern glory and power, but there were small details - very small, indiscernible details - that made her distinctly Irisviel... Like the slight upward curl of her lips, the mischievous angle of her nose, the high, yet softened cheekbones, the small indentation near her chin that did not quite make a dimple...

"I feel like being inspected for a test. Have I passed your unforgiving scrutiny, Master Emiya?"

He laughed at her boldness and kissed the tip of her nose.

"I was not inspecting. I was memorizing... but if it were a test, you would have passed with flying colors."

"You are inflating my ego," she blushed.

"That would be impossible, Iri. But, don't worry, I'm done."

He unlocked his entwined fingers on her back to retrieve the cell phone from the pocket of his pajamas. He carefully chose a slow, sweet song from a playlist then held up his hand to her face up.

She looked at it skeptically.

"What is this for?" she asked hesitantly, looking at him a little perplexed.

"Well, I'm not an expert, but I do believe waltzing is usually done with a partner," he said smiling.

"Yes," she said slowly. "But you don't dance, my love."

He leaned in until his mouth was right next to her ear. "Wanna bet?"

He grabbed her by the waist and swept them across the floor in easy, flowing glides. She might never have seen him dance, but she soon realized his waltzing was utter perfection - graceful but with assertive steps and turns. She couldn't help but gape at him.

"Well, don't look so surprised," he quipped, guiding her gently through a turn.

"How did you -?" she was afraid he'd take offense at her shock, but it really was just too much. She didn't have him pegged as a dancing man. Kiritsugu laughed at her expression.

"When I was younger and Natalia was training me, she noticed I was good with the gun... but I had a hard time coordinating my body with the rest of my magic."

He twirled her twice and then settled into the basic rhythm again.

"So, she had me take dancing lessons when we were in Vienna. I hated it... I didn't take it seriously at first. In fact, the first few weeks, I would insist on doing menial jobs for her - doing inventory, staking out target sites. Those kind of things. Then, she showed me how the dancing related to magic. With the tango, I learned to control my speed and timing better. But with the waltz, I was able to find my center, where I'm perfectly balanced. The more I practiced, the more attuned I became with the little habits of my body. Then, after about a year of dancing lessons, I was able to use the Time Alter correctly and without any snags."

He led her with such economy of movement and grace, it felt natural to let him lead. For a while, she said nothing, merely enjoying the way they moved in perfect synchrony and giving him time to enjoy it too. If being able to dance alone in the moonlight gave her joy, being in his arms put her in exquisite bliss.

They moved across the grand ballroom as husband and wife, unabashed and unheeding of the outside world. For a span of a few minutes, they had an entire universe all to themselves, no obligations, no duties, no sacrifices... just the feel of each other's heartbeat and the anticipation of every turn. Kiritsugu marveled at the precise way Irisviel responded to his slightest of signals. She never hesitated. She never fought his direction. As if by instinct, she let him take the reigns.

It really was humbling how she could trust him completely. When the music changed tracks, he slowed them down to small, even steps.

"Why did you hate it?" she asked when they both regained their breaths. She had moved closer to him subconsciously, so their waltz turned into something more like dancing on a pie plate.

"Hate what?" he returned, perplexed.

"Why did you hate dancing at first? I mean, I always thought dancing was so beautiful. People get to express what they feel, what they think, in a way that words never can. Somehow, I guess I always saw it as something more... pure."

He dipped her slightly at the waist before answering.

"At the time, I was trying hard not to be as expressive. I was perfecting the art of keeping my emotions bottled up. It made ki- what I had to do easier. That was the reason... among other things," he muttered that last part.

"What other things?" she pressed on innocently. The answer was quite embarrassing and he contemplated changing the subject. But the atmosphere was so light, he felt it was sacrilegious to avoid anything.

"I thought it was not manly," he answered haltingly. Her eyebrows knit in confusion.

"But men have danced since the Middle Ages, even longer than that."

"I know, but it was common knowledge - though I realized later how wrong this 'common' knowledge was - that only those who are interested in men took dance lessons. I was a kid! I wasn't attracted to kids of the same gender. It scared me. I thought it was required."

She laughed musically, coaxing a chuckle from him in turn. It was rare to find some bright memory from his childhood - rarer still to find one where he displayed his own ignorance. This was, of course, tainted somewhat by Natalia's death like all his childhood memories were, but less so. He was immediately glad he shared this with her. Then, she decided to ask something even the rest of "polite" society has difficulty answering.

"Is there something wrong with being attracted to the same gender? I mean, we Einzberns create our own kind so, really, I wouldn't know. Attraction, even just in terms of amiable relationships, is a far-fetched idea... up until I came along, of course," she added with a bit of a blush.

"No, there isn't," he responded smoothly. "At least, that's how I see it. Who people go out with is entirely their choice. I couldn't care less for it. Though, I only developed this opinion when I grew older... and realized Natalia had lovers of both sexes."

Her eyes widened in disbelief and made him laugh.

"Well, I might have caught her once or twice," he admitted, spinning her. "But after the second time, she made efforts to be discreet."

"Discreet? How? I mean, I can't imagine being with a woman or another man... or both at the same time."

"Don't try to. You'll make me think I'm not as good as I think I am."

And - as if on cue - she blushed. The color rose from her chest to the roots of the hair on her forehead. He hoped she would grow less embarrassed of their "sleeping arrangements" later on - even wished for the day when she would be the one to make an advance - but he delighted in the way she blushed. It was irresistibly adorable. So, he contrived to find ways to make her blush... like right now. He was about to comment on her heightened complexion when, again, she threw him a curve ball.

"What about you? Have you had lovers of the same sex?"

Her query was said so innocently, but it made him trip nonetheless. Was he really having this conversation with his wife?

"No," he replied as he settled into rhythm once more. "I have only ever been with women."

"How many?"

"Uuuhh..."

Now, this was definitely, freakishly bizarre. He had always been faithful to her - not that he had much of a choice since he stayed at the Castle - and she had never broached the subject of his past love affairs. He had never imagined she would mention this. Ever.

"It's alright," she assured him amiably. "It is not as if I will ever meet any of them." He didn't know whether to be thankful for or be disturbed with her naivete.

"I started young, Iri. I - " he choked on his words. _Did he just admit that his exploits started early in life?_ "I've never really counted."

Her eyebrows knit together again and he got worried, but her next question flustered him even more.

"Did you love all of them?"

He couldn't answer. How could he explain to his wife that he - well, people, in general - didn't always have sex out of love? Sometimes, they did it out of purely animal instinct. Other times, they did it because they're lonely. God knows he'd had his share of both in his short lifetime. But could he explain that to her without making her feel as if he uses her?

"No," he replied, deciding that honesty, really is in this case, the best policy. "I have only ever loved three women in my life: Shirley, Natalia and you."

"Oh. All those women..." she began and trailed off. He waited for her to say something else. She didn't. Then, her eyes assumed that distant, thoughtful look and he got seriously worried.

"Iri?" he asked tentatively. "Do you want a divorce now?" He knew the answer was most probably no. Iri loved him more than that, yet something irrationally made him think she'd say yes.

"And break Ilya's heart?" she replied, giving him a sly look. "Never."

The seriousness of her answer and the darkening look in her eyes made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. He'd been punched in the gut before but none of them felt as painful as this. It felt like the all the air in his body was forced out of him. He was so shocked, he couldn't do anything but stare at her.

_Was it that repulsive to her? Was this really so heinous?_

Then, she burst out laughing - the sound as merry as it was musical. He was barely breathing and... SHE. WAS. LAUGHING.

"Oh, my..." she trilled wiping tears from her eyes. "If you only saw the look in your face..."

"Oh, God... IRI!" he yelled her name in frustration and relief while simultaneously pulling her in for a crushing embrace.

"I'm sorry, darling," she said, still shaking from bouts of laughter. "You're always so convinced I would leave you because of your past, I just had to play along. Are you angry?"

"Angry? God. I'm fucking relieved. Don't you ever do that again."

He placed a kiss on her forehead, inhaling her intoxicating scent then smiled in spite of himself. She was learning, responding now to the little quirks in his personality only she noticed. This was evidence that she was moving farther and farther away from the shell she once was and he couldn't be prouder... even if it came at the expense of his peace of mind.

"You are a ridiculous man, Emiya Kiritsugu," she rebuked him lovingly. "You know by now that nothing can ever make me leave you, but still you insist that I will. I'm beginning to think you're deathly afraid of being happy."

"I don't deserve you," he replied with no hint of self-pity in his voice. He tipped her chin towards him and gave her a gently probing kiss. Her arms entwined at the back of his neck. She sighed when he finally broke the kiss.

"I don't think I will ever convince you how wrong you are," she said, her eyes softening with a timid glow.

"You won't."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't mean to make little of your sufferings, my love, but I do believe that whatever happened in your past has nothing to do with me and Ilya except that they're a part of you."

"Which is why I am seriously bad for your health, Lady Einzbern," he replied a trifle sadly.

Irisviel stopped moving. She took a step back and put her hands on her hips, ready to scold.

"First of all," she spoke matter-of-factly. "It's Madam Emiya. You made me your wife and you're the only who would call me that, so you might as well use the privilege. And second, it's too late for that now. I've already swallowed the poison."

She was right. He, again, wished she wasn't, but she was. And since he could hardly argue against her logic he settled with just holding her. He reached for her again in apology, bringing her closer until her cheek rested against his. She fit so perfectly in his arms and smelled so good, he knew he would never have the strength to let go.

"I wish we could always stay this way. I wish you would stop blaming yourself too, but...," she rested her head on his shoulder. "I wish we could stay like this."

In response, he tucked her head at the crook of his neck and pressed his lips against her temple, saying nothing. The air around them felt quieter now, more companionable. It wasn't at all surprising that Iri chose this time to tell him about her dream.

"Sometimes, I dream that we aren't who we are right now. In that world, I wasn't a homunculus and you weren't a freelance hunter. We were normal people, meeting under normal circumstances... We had dinners in one of those restaurants you told me about, maybe saw a movie once in a while. We lived in a Japanese mansion in Fuyuki and raised Ilya there... with another child... a son to carry your name."

He smiled at the image her words painted. Irisviel, playing mother to two young children in a mansion in his hometown... It looked so wonderful in his mind's eye, he started to feel the anxiety crowding in.

"Did the son look like you or like me?" he asked trying to flush out all his darker thoughts and keep his focus on her.

"He has my hair," she trailed on "Just like Ilya... but his eyes and his face are yours."

"He must have been dashing," he remarked still wrestling with his emotions.

"He was."

It was clear he wouldn't win unless he came up with something more vivid. So, he tried to envision the life she created for them: breakfast together, kids going to school, washing the dishes, reading the paper... simpler arguments... dancing in the moonlight... They could be together in that world. A complete family free of all complications. It was the life she deserved. And it was a good dream for her to have at night even if it meant that they could not really have it.

"In another life, maybe," he whispered earnestly. He absent-mindedly stroked her back.

"Yes, my love. In another life."

They stayed there until the sky started to turn a lighter shade. Hidden from prying eyes and with only the silver light of the moon as witness.

* * *

**A/N: **I just couldn't resist making Irisviel dance. I mean, she's just the most beautiful creature on earth. It seemed such a shame to waste all that gracefulness. And I just had to put this little "weirdness" in Kiritsugu too. The man can't be all seriousness after all and besides, can't you just see the perfection they exude in that ballroom? He doesn't have to be as good as a professional, but you have to admit he wouldn't look terrible doing it either.

And of course, there had to be some of the awkward and the heavy in this scene. I'm banking on the idea that this is all new to them. It's not easy for Kiritsugu to speak of his past but he can't resist Irisviel's naivete either. For Irisviel's part, she's just finding him fascinating. Everything about him broke ancient mage rules. If you were a beautiful woman locked in a beautiful castle with a tortured soul like Kiritsugu, would you not want to know the smaller, happier details of his life?

At any rate, as usual, I have a reference for the kind of movement I picture them doing. Check out this video of **Christopher Hawkins and Joanne Bolton** doing a **waltz demo**: ** watch?v=bKfIaBd16hg. **Nothing awfully fancy, just long, sweeping movements executed in perfect harmony. As for the music, I was thinking along the lines of Slow Waltz, not Viennese Waltz, although either would work just fine. It could sort of sound like this: ** watch?v=XS-fBWGtd5s&amp;index=3&amp;list=PL095524BB95EC136F.**

That's it for now. I uploaded the next chapter as well.

**PS: **Do you buy the idea that Natalia could be pansexual? Because I certainly do. She's just so hot. Hehe.


	7. Chapter 6: Spaces Between

**Chapter 6: Spaces Between**

**A/N: Nothing explicit here, but mature audiences please. **

"Our little princess has drifted off to the land of dreams," Kiritsugu whispered, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Ilya's ear. Earlier in their hushed conversation, Ilya wedged herself in the small space that separated her parents with a determined look that told her mother she meant to defy the Sandman again tonight. She wanted to hear more stories, to stretch out all the fun they had today to the wee hours of the next morning, but it seems the Sandman brought reinforcements. Ilya lost the fight.

"And I thought she was going to stay up with us all night."

Irisviel stood slowly from their cozy spot near the large velvet sofa and the fireplace and carefully lifted the little girl's huddled form from her lap. Kiritsugu couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed when she made her way towards the door - but Ilya must be tucked in. Her needs must come first.

He resigned himself to a quiet evening in the book room and moved to the sofa, lighting a cigarette in her wake. Yet, Irisviel didn't head out to the nursery. Instead, she pulled on the bell that summoned her maidservants.

"We're not tucking her in tonight?" he asked with eyes narrowed. Irisviel smiled somewhat conspiratorially and shook her head. Before he could ask what her plans are, Sella came in to take Ilya.

"Could you take Ilya to her room, please? There is something I must discuss with Master Emiya."

Without asking any questions - her kind never does - the maidservant took the sleeping Ilya from her mistress's arms, curtsied once to her, once to him and left. Then, Irisviel started making her way towards him.

"What are you up to, Madam Emiya?" he drawled, though he had an inkling as to what she was planning to do. He ground his cigarette in the obsidian ashtray on the sidetable and shifted just in time to help her climb onto his lap.

She didn't know what came over her, only that she'd never wanted to be alone with him so desperately as she did right at this moment. They'd had such a wonderful day today as a family, it was a shame to leave him hanging. Now, she wanted to make it perfect in the way only a woman ever could.

When he asked her what she was up to in that treacherous voice of finest silk, she knew: She didn't have to answer that question.

She crawled onto his lap, setting her knees on either side of his thighs, and didn't wait for him to settle into the cushions before she started kissing him.

She started it slow, gentle and deep, remembering the shape of his lips, the feel of his tongue against hers, the little habits that told her where he drew pleasure more.

She held his face in both her hands, tilting it in whichever angle created more friction between their mouths. He didn't take over - didn't even try. Instead he let her do her own exploration and followed where she directed.

_He likes this,_ she thought noting that his hands tightened their grip on her hips when she tangled her tongue with his.

When she bit his lower lip lightly and a low rumble started in his chest, she smiled. _He likes that even more._

She lost herself in the passion of their connection, breathing him in, allowing her body to do the thinking. She ran her hands through his hair and pushed him back into the cushions, not once breaking from him.

She had never had him like this, so eager to follow, so pliant so... tame. There was no sign of the cold-blooded Mage Killer she married, just her husband and lover. This was entirely HER Kiritsugu. The one who could give her full control. The one who could never deny her anything.

And with this realization came power. She could never use her body to manipulate him, but knowing how much influence she had over him emboldened her, made her more confident. She wanted nothing less than complete, earth-shattering bliss from this man... and she wanted him to have it too. Adjusting her position so her entire weight pinned him to the sofa, she renewed her efforts and picked up the pace.

Yet, it seems no amount of kisses could quell the hunger clawing inside her. Nothing she did was enough. Each kiss, each strategically-placed stroke only made her want him more.

_Is this what desire really feels like? Like liquid fire? Like insatiable hunger?_

She broke away from his mouth, smiling at the sound of protest he made, and traced a line of kisses down his jaw, his neck. She tasted him where his pulse was quickening, then moved lower to nip the edge of his collarbone. If the iron-grip he had on her thighs were not an indication of his pleasure, the deep moans from his lips were.

She slipped her hands to his chest and began undoing the buttons of his shirt.

* * *

Irisviel was a spectacular kisser: attentive, passionate and really, REALLY thorough... in other words, completely irresistible. Without even knowing it, she teased him and tormented him and tested the limits of his legendary self-control - which was beginning to look less legendary by the second.

_God,_ he thought as she aligned her body with his. _How many more ways is this woman going to undo me?_

He protested when her lips left his, only to be brought up short when she renewed her efforts on his jaw, down his neck to his chest. When she started undressing him, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer.

"Iri..." he moaned against her lips, not knowing if he meant to warn her or encourage her. But, he needed to be connected to her with more than just his mouth. He needed to touch her, feel her skin beneath his fingers.

His hands haphazardly found the zipper that held her dress together and pulled it down, exposing the smooth whiteness her back. He slipped one hand under the cloth and stroked her gently.

Then, he wrested control from her.

He brought her lips back to his and began ravaging her with fierce possessiveness. He assaulted her mouth with hot, desperate kisses, demonstrating with his tongue what he intended to do with her body. The frantic movement - with both of them pulling at each other to get closer - caused her dress to fall beyond what was deemed proper. Her hands turned into claws on his shoulders. Bare skin met bare skin and his control slipped altogether.

He was just about to yank the offensive material down her body when the door suddenly opened to let in Sella. Irisviel abruptly broke away from him and hid her face in his shoulder.

"Master Emiya! Lady Einzbern! I thought... I thought you..." the maidservant stuttered, looking lost and clearly not expecting to find his Master and Mistress in what can only be called a compromising position.

Kiritsugu groaned in frustration and dropped his head on the sofa. He ran a hand through his mussed up hair while keeping the other possessively on Irisviel's back.

"Do they not teach you how to knock where you're trained, Sella?" he asked, his breathing still erratic. He did not bother to hide his irritation, intending to berate the naive servant for not having the decency to announce her presence before her masters, but Irisviel's soft bite on his shoulder warned him she would not be able to last a confrontation. That, and the fact that it was not Sella's fault.

_She's embarrassed you, my love._ He thought stubbornly. _She also couldn't have picked a worse time to interrupt us._

He took a deep breath and forced himself to look evenly at the frightened maid.

"What is it?" he asked in a more moderate tone.

"Lady Ilya... She woke up, Sir... She asked for her blanket and I thought she might have left it in here."

"It didn't occur to you that we might be using this room?"

"No, Sir. I did not know you and the Lady Einzbern were still in the study. And this place has never been used for..."

She trailed off, shrinking even further at Kiritsugu's raised eyebrow. An extremely uneasy silence followed.

Sella remained standing by the door awkwardly with her eyes averted. She looked very much unsure whether to venture near the entwined lovers or to leave. And since every second she spent in the room is a gross invasion of their privacy, Kiritsugu's patience evaporated.

"Are you going to get it or will you ask me to stand? If I stand, it will only embarrass your mistress even further."

Irisviel's hand moved to hit him, but he caught it and bestowed a possessive kiss on the inside of her wrist. If he was trying to make the maid even more uncomfortable, he succeeded.

"Easy, Iri," he crooned, eyes shooting daggers at the flustered Sella. "Sella's leaving now."

A great deal too shocked at what she had just witnessed to return to her usual placid veneer, the maidservant hurriedly picked up the blanket and left the room without so much as a second glance at the couple.

Irisviel was blushing heavily despite hiding her face in Kiritsugu's shoulder. But she blushed even further - if that was at all possible - when he burst out laughing just as Sella closed the door.

"Is she gone?" she asked in a small, muffled voice. "Please, tell me she is gone."

"Yes, my love, she's gone. I think we underestimated Sella's innocence. You might have to find a new maid tomorrow,"

"Oh, God," she groaned and buried her face deeper into his shoulder.

"Are you really taking this seriously, Iri?"

He tilted his head so he could see a bit of her face.

"How can I not?!" she exclaimed suddenly. She lifted her face to look at him with wide, disbelieving eyes and clutched the material of his open shirt. "It has taken me this long to gain enough confidence to make an advance on my husband and I get caught! What did I do to deserve this? Where did I go wrong?"

She threw her head back in sheer frustration, hiding her face again with her hands. Kiritsugu took advantage of her exposed throat and began kissing his way to her ear. Then, he whispered,

"You forgot to lock the door."

"She should have knocked!" she whined through her palms. This image and the stark contrast it posed to the unabashed Irisviel of moments ago - sent him laughing again.

"HOW CAN YOU FIND THIS FUNNY?!'

She began hitting him with half-hearted blows.

"Iri - ow - stop it," he said, fending off her hands by throwing his arms in front of his face. When it was clear, she wouldn't, he tried catching her wrists.

"Stop it!" he ordered without imperiousness. "I said stop it, woman!"

She was laughing with him by the time he got her to hold still. He threw her hands over his shoulder so her chest pressed against his, her face a kissing-distance from him once more. For a while, they said nothing, both letting the other recover from the ridiculousness of their situation. Then, Irisviel spoke.

"We should purchase a dead bolt for our room," she told him somberly while her hands played with the hair on the back of his head.

"I don't think we have to go to such lengths, my love, but if it will make you feel more secure..."

He grinned at her wickedly. She grinned back and visibly thought about it.

"Hmmm... You're right. Perhaps we do not quite need to go that far."

Kissing her on the forehead, he lifted her from his lap and placed her on the sofa. Then, he headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked, not wanting to sound too disappointed but not blaming him if they didn't proceed from here either.

He didn't answer her, merely continued walking. Then, just when she thought he was going to make his way back to their chambers, he reached for the second lock and turned it. Now, there was no way anyone was intruding on them. She bit her lip and extended her arms to him.

"There," he said, after they'd undressed and settled into each other's embrace. He repositioned them on the large seat so she was under him, her head resting on a plush cushion and one leg draped over his to keep him in place.

"Now, you can do with me as you please,"

She raised an eyebrow at him then pulled his face down to hers.

"It seems it's the other way around, Master Emiya."

"I believe this is should be a give and take situation."

He kissed her softly once, twice, thrice before her pull on his lips grew urgent. He closed the gap between them so he could feel every inch of her skin against his.

He had never wanted a woman like this, never had sensations this intense. Only now was he discovering that his kind, delicate, affectionate Iri was as passionate in bed as she was about everything he taught. Her knew-found knowledge gave her the confidence she needed to be assertive... And he fell further in love with her for it.

She writhed and balked beneath him, begging him to take her higher, unabashed with the ferocity of her passion. Having her so open and uninhibited like this made him want give anything just to have her with him longer, just to keep hearing his name on her lips like a sacred litany. He lost himself in her - the scent, the taste, the rhythm of her - until he didn't know where his pleasure ended and hers began. It was like the universe shrank to just Irisviel and it was enough.

Wonderfully surprising, she gave as good as she got. She completely amazed him by her precise and extensive knowledge of his body, knowing perhaps out of instinct how to tease him and coil him tighter. He had all he could do not to let the beast inside him loose.

They spent the entire evening in each other's arms, alternating between talking and making love.

When his stamina finally waned after the fourth - _or was it the fifth?_ \- time, he curled them up in a tight ball of tangled limbs and loving kisses. Using only his trench coat as their protection against prying eyes, they fell deeply asleep.

* * *

Sella was miserable. She was deeply miserable.

She caught her Master and Mistress last night doing - _what were they doing?_ _-_ something. Something she had no knowledge of whatsoever. She tried clearing her mind of it, but the stubborn image seared itself in her brain.

When she came in after tucking Lady Ilya last night, she had been so distraught that Leysritt had to give her Olga's Tonic just to make her coherent. When she was finally able to explain - in extremely hazy and vague details - Leysritt had had to take some tonic too.

"How could she do it?" she remembered Leysritt asking. "She is an Einzbern! He's an outsider! I understand that they are married, but the doesn't mean she should taint herself with him."

She had nothing to say to this, only that it didn't seem to matter to Lady Einzbern. She seemed to be greatly enjoying herself.

_Is that really what it's like to be in love?_

It was well known in the family and the staff that Lady Einzbern loved her husband and Lady Ilya more than anything in the world. And while she was the perfect mother no one expected, but accepted her to be, it was unseemly to think that she carried her relations with her husband beyond what was dutiful.

_And yet..._

She snapped her thoughts shut before they run away to distasteful things.

The Einzberns were a pure-blooded mage family and only the purest and cleanest have the right to serve them. Whatever they did behind closed doors gave no excuse for their servants to taint themselves.

But, even these righteous ruminations couldn't keep the image from intruding in constantly ub her mind. She'd heard others talk of lovers before, often exulted the beauty and intimacy of it. Was that how lovers looked when they're alone? So lost and consumed by each other?

_Well, if your lover is as handsome as Master_ _Emiya_ _-_

At this, she definitely and violently cut off her thoughts and went to a fitfully tortuous sleep. So now, she sat at the servants' mess hall, with coffee in hand and a terrible headache. And she felt really, really miserable.

Leysritt came in with her sewing.

"Good heavens, Sella!" she exclaimed in mock concern. "You look awful! Are you sick?"

She laid the materials on the table and pretended to check Sella's temperature.

"No, I'm not!" Sella snapped, swatting away Leysritt's hands. "Get your calloused hands aways from me!"

"Aren't you cranky. Not able to get much sleep with the Master and the Madam fooling around inside your head?"

"Shut up!" Sella flared. "If you saw them too, you wouldn't be so smug!"

"Well, I didn't. So, deal with it."

She sat herself right beside the senior lady's maid and resumed her sewing, the ghost of a smug still hovering on her face. Her misplaced superiority made Sella want to slap her hard, but instead she shut her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose.

_An_ _Einzbern_ _maid is always calm. An_ _Einzbern_ _maid is always calm._

Then, she heard little Lady Ilya cry. And, as if on cue, so did the bell connected to the book room. She looked at Leysritt in sheer panic. Leysritt stared back at her. Then, the bell. Then, back at her.

"You found them in the book room last night, didn't you?" she asked slowly, her voice up a few pitches higher.

"Leysritt," Sella warned in feigned calmness. "We can discuss this."

She gaged the younger maid's ready-to-pounce stance, mentally calculating the amount of time it would take to beat her to the stairs. Her chances were not looking too good.

Come on, think!

One one thousand, two one thousand, three...

"I'll take Ilya!" Leysritt yells and darts out of the room like a hive angry stinging wasps were after her.

"LEYSRITT!" Sella shouts, grabbing at her but grasping air instead. "DON'T LEAVE ME TO - " the door slammed upstairs.

"Serve them breakfast."

* * *

Inside the dreaded book room, Irisviel woke to the deafening ring of Kiritsugu's phone. He usually placed it in silent mode before they went too sleep, but last night... Last night, the phone was entirely forgotten.

She felt him shift behind her, but he didn't make any move towards the horrible device.

"Darling," she muttered in a voice still dripping with sleep and exhaustion. "Your phone..."

"Let it ring," came his equally drowsy answer coupled with a tightening of his arm around her midriff. "It diverts to Maiya's number if I don't pick it up."

She tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. After several seconds, the caller seemed to give up... Then, the infernal thing started ringing again.

"OH, HEAVEN HAVE MERCY!" Fed up and fully awake, she stomped to where they discarded his trousers and searched frantically for his phone. She fumbled over it, not knowing how to turn it off.

"How - " her face scrounged up in fiery aggravation. "HOW DO YOU MAKE IT STOP?!" Kiritsugu sauntered calmly towards her and took the phone from her hands. Where she clumsily tried to figure out the device, he was able to turn it off with a simple click. She sighed her relief at the reclaimed silence.

"I'm sorry," he told her in sincerely contrite tones. "I forgot you aren't used to phones just yet."

She smiled sheepishly and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"I apologize for being impatient. I'm just... so tired." Looking at her benevolently, he answered her grin with one of his own. "With no regrets, I hope. How about if we start over?" He circled his arms around her waist and drew her in for a soft kiss on the lips.

"Good morning, Iri."

"Good morning. Do you know what time it is? Ilya must be up by now."

He released her to look at the watch he wore around his wrist. His brows knit together in surprise, making him look as if he couldn't see the hands properly.

"What is it?"

"It's almost 11. Let the maids take her for the rest of the morning." he picked up his trousers. "I don't think I'm quite up to that little hellion's megawatt energy yet."

"I'll ring for breakfast, then."

She walked across the room and pulled the heavy golden rope that sent servants scurrying hastily to them. She didn't realize her lack of clothes until she saw Kiritsugu's eyes survey her from head to toe then back up again. She rolled her own at him, noting that he was not quite as exposed as she was. But, with only his trousers, the rest of him remained gloriously uncovered. He took her rumpled gown where they mindlessly threw it on the sofa and offered it to her. She shook her head.

"I won't complain, Iri, but I think the maids will," he frowned. She laughed at this then pointed at the shirt he chose not to wear.

"That gown is far too creased, my love. Won't it make me look too... guilty? I think I would wear your shirt instead."

"Won't this simply confirm your guilt?" he asked, handing her the garment. She took it from him and gracefully put it on. Since he was taller than her and broader, the shirt hung from her shoulders to the middle of her thighs like a short dress. She rolled the sleeves to her elbows then pinned up her hair in a messy bun.

"No," she answered, checking herself out on the glass of the grandfather clock. When she was satisfied that she didn't look too un-presentable, she nodded then walked up to him. "If I wear your shirt, I will not look as if I am trying to hide it. Which, really, I'm not."

"That's reassuring," he said. He he fished a cigarette and a lighter from his pocket. "How can you look better in my shirt than I do?"

She completely ignored the complement, noticing instead his smoking apparata.

"Isn't it a little to early for that?"

She had only called Kiritsugu on his smoking habits once before: when she walked in this very book room and the smoke from his cigarette made her throat burn. He told her it was the only drug that allowed him to think more clearly - excluding her, of course. He said they had magic, so healing was not much of a problem. He had been healing himself since he started. It would have been well and good, but for the fact that the idea of him killing his body just for the sake of mental clarity didn't quite sit well with her.

And, since she can't make him quit, she came up with a new formula for him. One that was not designed to kill him or the others around him. It would give him the stimulus he needs without the additional side effects. It would also taste better. The result? The pack of alchemically altered cigarettes he was just about to smoke. Yet, even though his smoking her own concoction was a testament to her alchemical prowess, she didn't like him doing it first thing in the morning.

"It's 11am," he protested just before he put the stick in between his lips and light it.

"At least, wait for the breakfast tray to get here."

He put up his hands in surrender and shoved both things back in his pockets. It was gratifying to see she still held much sway out of bed, even though he was less accommodating.

It turned out Kiritsugu didn't have to wait long before he got his initial dose of morning stimulus. About two minutes later, a half-hearted knock sounded at the door.

* * *

Sella carried the tray laden with brunch nervously up to the book room.

When she told the chef - a portly, middle-aged French outsider hired only when the family had guests - that the Master and the Lady would not be taking breakfast at the usual hour, he immediately began preparations for a more substantial meal. Sella suspected he knew what they had been up to.

She just rounded the corner when Ms. Maiya emerged from one of the bedrooms with a phone in hand.

"Sella," the young assistant called after her. "Is that tray for Master Emiya?"

"Yes, Ms. Maiya," she answered with a half-curtsy. "Master Emiya and Lady Einzbern."

"Then, why are you headed for the book room? Shouldn't you be serving them in their chambers?"

"The bell for the book room rang, Ms."

Ms. Maiya's eyes narrowed in slight confusion and Sella realized her mistake. Even if the bell to the book room rang, she should not have known which of her masters were in that room, much less both of them. Unless... Ms. Maiya's eyes cleared in apparent comprehension.

"I see... They are both in the book room," it could have been a simple confirmation if not for the knowing tone injected into it.

"Sella, could you do me a favor? Since, you are already headed in there, can you give this phone to Master Emiya? The director of the Cornwall Excavation is on hold. He's been calling since earlier this morning."

_The gods must be punishing me,_ Sella thought forlornly. She was a servant of the house and Ms. Maiya ranked higher than her as Master Emiya's personal assistant. She could never refuse a request.

"Of course, Ms," she acquiesced with another curtsy.

"Thank you. I'll just place it here..."

Ms. Maiya wedge the phone in between the handle of tray and the toast, then went on her way. She had reached the door of her bedroom when she spoke over her shoulder.

"Oh, and Sella? He could be a bit of a bear in the morning... especially when he's disturbed with business calls."

Perhaps for the hundredth time in one morning, Sella wished a lightning would strike her down before she reached the book room. Unfortunately, she was blessed with no such luck.

There was a soft rumble of sleepy voices from the other side of the heavy stained oak doors. The Master and the Lady were definitely awake, but it sounds as though they were both terribly exhausted.

_Calm_ _yourself,_ _Sella._ _You_ _will_ _only_ _be_ _serving_ _them_ _breakfast..._ _Like_ _usual._

She raised her hand to knock.

_Oh,_ _God_ _above._ _If_ _you_ _have_ _any_ _love_ _for_ _me,_ _please_ _let_ _it_ _be_ _her_ _benevolent_ _ladyship_ _to_ _answer_ _the_ _door._ _May_ _they_ _be_ _fully_ _clothed..._

Three taps. The door opened and she was welcomed by Master Emiya.

_Thank_ _you,_ _Lord_ _Almighty._ _He_ _is_ _clothed. But_ _I_ _know_ _now_ _you_ _do_ _not_ _love_ _me_ _so_ _much._

"Sella!" She heard him exclaim in mock surprise. "I thought you would have handed in your resignation last night."

He wore nothing but his black trousers. Smooth skin covered toned muscles, a cigarette stick held in between his thin lips. Add the greatly mussed up jet black hair and a hungry-dreamy expression in his eyes and his look of arrogant, disheveled satisfaction was complete.

Facing him with a resolutely impassive face, she offered him the phone.

"There is a call for you, Master. Ms. Maiya asked me to give this to you immediately."

The look of teasing mirth disappeared from his features like water evaporating under tremendous heat. He took the phone from the tray and turned to the window addressing the other person on the line in bored but grim tones.

Sella curtsied to her unseeing master and proceeded to set the tray on the misplaced table. She stood by to wait on the Lady, as per correct practice, but she kept her lashes lowered so she could observe her discreetly.

The Lady was just as rumpled as the Master, though perhaps less arrogantly so. She was very regal, though and as composed as she always was despite the lack of her usual satin gown.

She was seated on the large sofa wearing nothing but the Master's black shirt. Her glittering silver tresses were tied up in a messy bun at the back of her head and a soft, sweet, blissful look covered her features. Her long, long legs were enviously uncovered, cementing her immortal-turned mortal appearance. There was no doubt in Stella's mind that the Lady just be the most beautiful Einzbern in the entire Winter City... perhaps even in the world. That her beauty was sworn to a mortal man like Master Emiya...

Yet, he looked not much like a feeble human himself. All long, strong limbs and cold, sharp, but handsome Japanese features, Emiya Kiritsugu looked every bit the God of Darkness to his wife's Goddess of Light. If Sella were to be less discriminating, she would be forced to admit they made a strikingly stunning matched pair. None could look as tragically imposing as thy do she they appeared as husband and wife.

Sella watched the Lady's slender fingers perform the ministrations reserved to the Lady of the House. It was a rather simple ritual, but for an Einzbern servant to learn it was punishable by incarceration and laceration. It was probably only because of the Lady's innocence or kindness that her observation went unnoticed. After a while, Master Emiya clicked off the call then turned to address his wife.

Ms. Maiya was right. He didn't like being interrupted with business calls in the morning. It was written all over his face. But he seemed much more greatly displeased than annoyed. He opened his mouth to say something - presumably to order her out of the room - but his wife cut him off.

"You may go now, Sella," Lady Einzbern said gently. With that, Sella curtsied deeply and left the room, thanking the gods that her ordeals were over.

"You look as if someone messed up your plans, my love," Irisviel commented as she poured him his usual dosage of steaming black coffee.

The Einzberns grew the coffee beans themselves, using ancient agricultural techniques and alchemy to create probably the best tasting coffee in the universe. Too bad they hoarded the secret... When they weren't even much of coffee drinkers. They sold the beans only by order and could only be persuaded to lower their exorbitant prices with extremely desperate cajolery. As a result, the serving of Einzbern coffee became a tradition all on its own. No mage household would dream of serving it to anyone other than intimate and very, very valuable friends. But as Kiritsugu was technically a son of the house, the servants were commanded to offer him every bit of extravagant luxury the Einzberns can afford - the coffee most especially once Irisviel learned how much he loved the bitter stuff.

Kiritsugu took the cup she offered as he sat beside her, betraying nothing of the conversation he just irritably put to an end. He took a sip and sighed as the rich flavor burst in his mouth.

Irisviel let him have his moment. She poured herself a cup of black tea, a little milk, no sugar. For a few seconds, there was no sound except for the soft clink of her teaspoon against the inner walls of the fine porcelain teacup. Whatever companionable lightness she woke up to this morning had been replaced by an awkward tension.

Her husband bided his time. She watched his eyes flit to and fro everything except for her. It made her want to bite his head off, but she held back. He was not a man of many words but if he found something difficult to say, then it really was troubling.

"I have to leave again," she heard him say a bit later. She heard the apologetic tone in his voice and decided she did not like it. But she was going to take this in stride.

"Immediately, yes?," she asked nonchalantly, exchanging her cup for a piece of toast.

"In an hour, to be exact," was his increasingly terse reply.

"Cornwall?"

"Where else?"

Irisviel shrugged her shoulders in splendid indifference. "When should I expect your return, then?"

"Are you really taking this calmly?"

That bit of outburst alarmed her. He sounded hurt - pained even - and he looked at her with equal parts doubt and offense. She thought her response had been what he expected.

She had had the most passionate night of her life - the soreness in her lower extremities proved that. He was there when she woke up, sweet and warm and undoubtedly hers. He had no intention of leaving her side at all, not even bothering to take the call until it was imperative he did. To finish it off with relish, the wizard in the kitchens had thoughtfully served them toasts, bacon, eggs and fruits and oats this morning instead of the usual menu.

As a result, Irisviel was so wrapped up in a thick, soft blanket of bliss, she could not have begrudged her husband's sudden attending to his duties. God knows he did his fair share of spousal obligation last night. Her only concern was that he would be traveling so soon when it was apparent how tired he was.

"I do not understand, Kiritsugu," she said carefully. "You will always have preparations to make for the Grail War. You will always have duties that will take you away from me. I have known that from the very beginning and if I am to live on with you, then I will have to be strong even without you. It would not do for me to hang on to you so much. Am I wrong? "

"No," he answered quietly with a small proud smile. "But it's not that which bothers me. I... hate to leave you like this."

This perplexed her.

"Leave me like what?"

"Like... Like you're some prostituted woman I used and am about to discard."

Her lips parted slightly in surprise. There was real shame in his voice, shame in realizing he would be treating her much like a tool. And here, she thought he was sulking because he was going to leave again. She sighed, then smiled slyly.

_Oh, my husband. My deeply-loving, brooding, sensual husband..._

"At least, you're staying for breakfast - which is probably more than what most of your lovers can claim,"

She watched as several emotions raced to take over his face: shock, guilt, shame, then - finally - challenging mischief. The tension diffused like a popping balloon.

"So, you want to play dirty, huh?"

"I think I'll start playing dirty from now on," she quipped. "If I play dirty, I'm guaranteed to win since my past is... Well, nonexistent."

"You play a cruel game, Iri."

"You wanted a strong Grail Vessel,"

He laughed at this. It was a mark of how well she knew him that she could convince him without saying so much. Kiritsugu understood that she did not see herself as being used... or at least not without using him back.

"What was it you told me last night?," she mockingly tried to remember. "Oh, yes. That this was supposed to be a give and take relationship?"

He took a plate and loaded it with food, finally giving in to the demands of his stomach.

"I get it. Thank you very much," he .

"I think Sella was a little too obvious at the servants' hall downstairs."

"Did you see how resolute she looked when she came in?"

"Yes!" she giggled. "I thought she looked so fragile, she would break!"

They spent the next hour in light commonplace, laughing and joking as if Kiritsugu had nowhere else to be. When it was finally time for him to prepare, he stood up and gave Irisviel a long kiss on the lips.

"You're going to make it difficult for me to concentrate," he whispered as they embraced. "How am I going to survive the next two days?"

_You_ _will_ _learn_ _to_ _manage_ _better_ _when_ _the_ _time_ _comes,_ _darling._ _Some_ _farewells_ _were_ _meant_ _to_ _last_ _forever_, she thought sadly, realizing perhaps for the first time the weight her husband will have to bear when she dies. But all she said was,

"Then, hurry home, my love... because I do not think I will last very long away from your arms either."

* * *

**A/N: **In my head, Iri's not just some kind of soul mate for Kiritsugu. They have to share a bed. They have to be completely married otherwise the entire relationship would lack the intensity their characterizations necessitated. Kiritsugu's affair with Maiya becomes a betrayal of Irisviel's love precisely because it's symbolic of his not completely belonging with her. He's like shared property, so to speak.

Everything else considered, how'd you like the Sella and Leysritt part? Let me know what you think through reviews! :P


End file.
